"If You Cross Your Eyes They Will Stay Like That!"

Today's guest post is by Danielle Smith, owner of the website Extraordinary Mommy. Danielle is a wife and Mommy to two young children. In her 'free time', she balances work as the founder and primary author of ExtraordinaryMommy.com as well as co-anchoring two in-the-works blog talk radio shows. She is also the Editor for StLouisKids.com and is a regular contributor to FamilyFoodies.com.

Picture this:

I am about 8 years old. I have lots of freckles and a strawberry blond ponytail. With my hands on my hips and a flip of my hair, I look my parents directly in the eyes and I boldly announce, "I will never say that to my kids when I have them."

Fast forward a whole bunch of years.

Now picture me, 30-something year old, mother of two small people, with a foot planted firmly in my mouth. I can honestly say, I never dreamed I could be so-very-wrong. What, you are wondering, was I so intent on banning from my parental vocabulary? Let me give you the rundown.

*Because I Said So - Surely you remember hearing this when you were little? Why can’t I spend the night at Sabrina’s house? Because I said so. (Because I don’t trust Sabrina’s parents one little bit) Why can’t I have another piece of cake? Because I said so. (Because the sugar contained in one piece will already keep you up until 9pm. I’d rather we both get some sleep tonight) Why can’t I ride my bike to Marie’s house? Because I said so. (Because I am too scared thinking of all the things that could happen to you along the way like kidnappers and erratic drivers) Let’s be honest, because I said so is code for because I am not going to tell you why – though I am laying down the law.

*Can’t you two just get along? – I used to wonder why my parents were always so bothered about my brother and I fighting. I mean, really? What’s the big deal? The big deal is that I want my little ones to love each other, to protect each other, to stick up for each other. How are you supposed to do that when you are mean to each other? Now that I am a mommy, I realize that there is something so painful about watching the two people you love most in the world fight. Plus, the bickering hurts my brain. I’m sure my mom would agree.

*Just do as I say. When I was little this was the end of the line. This phrase was usually uttered through clenched teeth and often when we were misbehaving in public. There was something about the look in mom’s or dad’s eyes that let me (and my brother) know we needed to cease and desist immediately. This was the moment when we stopped fighting, quieted down or ate our dinners. I hate to admit it, but I think, as parents, we have to find ‘that look’ or ‘that phrase’ that lets our kids know when they are getting out of hand and need to straighten up – right away.

*I don’t care who started it, it needs to stop. This falls into the same category as ‘can’t you two just get along?’. It clearly applies to the fighting. I always cared who started it – especially if it wasn’t me (if it was me, I was glad mom and dad didn’t care!) but I now understand that both kids are equally responsible (at different times, of course) for the chaos throughout the day – that’s why I truly don’t care who is initiating the little squabbles, I do however, care to make them stop.


*Don’t make me pull this car over – I was always afraid, very afraid when my dad reached this point. I could never picture being angry enough at my kids to utter this phrase. I have only said it once. And, I was definitely as angry as I remember him being. Though, I don’t think I provoke the same level of fear. As soon as the words sprung from my lips, I glanced over my shoulder, wondering who had just expelled these foreign words. Yep, it was me. Can’t imagine this will be a common phrase in my car, but I never dreamed I would say it even once.

*If you cross your eyes, they will stay like that/Sitting too close to the TV will hurt your eyes/cracking your knuckles will give you arthritis – Let’s be honest. These aren’t true. (Right??) But, having heard phrases like these as a child, I always have the small fear niggling in the back of my brain Just the other day I told my daughter she was too close to the TV – and yes, I did say it would hurt her eyes. I think sometimes we need reinforcement. It feels better to invoke the threat of danger, so your kids don’t think you are bossing them around arbitrarily. Though, I have to admit, I always thought my parents were making it up.
Quit crying or I will give you something to cry about – This was a threat that always snapped me to attention. I never knew what might happen – if I might lose my favorite toy, be forced to go to bed hours before the neighborhood kids, or be fed only vegetables for a week. I have never actually said this to the kids, but I have to admit I have thought it. Lately, I have an easy-crying 4 year old and a perpetually whining 2 year old. It has never in my mind been a physical threat, but I am aware it could be taken that way, and wouldn’t want the kids to think I would ever harm them. So – this is the one phrase that has allowed me to keep my word!

*She’s my little girl – Admittedly, the older I got, the more I bristled at this phrase. Who are you calling little? I’m almost 10, I’m a teenager, I’m off to college. But now, even though the kids are only 4 and 2, it is crystal clear that I will always view my children as my little ones, my small people, my babies. It is part protection, part territorial, part reminiscent.

*You will understand when you have kids – this always seemed so abstract. I knew I would have children some day, but the lessons didn’t seem to apply to my future. When you are a kid – you can only focus on the circumstances you are experiencing – it doesn’t register that your parents just might know what they are talking about. How will it ever make sense to me that my curfew is so early, that I can’t drink soda when everyone else can, that my parents have to know everywhere I am going and with whom, that forgetting to call home is unacceptable and that fighting with my brother really is a big deal? But it does make sense. All of it. And 25 years from now, it will make sense to my small people. Though I don’t yet say this to my kids very often, I think it all the time. And, I know, as we grow together, it will be a common utterance in my home.

And, finally, my personal favorite:

*Because I am the Mommy – I always thought, "I know! Big deal!" I figured, much like, ‘because I said so.’ that it was a cop-out of sorts. But now I know. Being the Mommy is a big deal – it is huge, gigantic, enormous and powerful. We carry children around for 9 months in our stomachs. We re-arrange our internal organs for their well-being. We labor, sometimes for hours. We bring these beautiful little people into the world – we give them their life. And then we give them ours. I think that deserves some respect – if not a pedestal and tiara.

Because we are the Mommys, that’s why.

It is amazing to me that most kids never wanted to turn into their parents. And now, understanding their challenges and sacrifices, I know I will be lucky to be half the Mother mine was. (and is!)

Motivate Me Monday! Last CD Giveaway!

Good morning! It's that time again...time to MOTIVATE! However, we must start things off right by announcing the Songs for Saplings CD giveaway winner from two weeks ago (sorry, I missed I last week!). Drumroll please....

The winner is Lisa, from Stop & Smell the Chocolates! Yay Lisa! I almost feel like I cheated or something by her winning because over the weekend I received a lovely package of new baby gifts from the very sweet Lisa - including some yummy chocolate! But I didn't cheat, I did the random number generator thing and the number was 8, Lisa! Congrats my dear friend! :) It just worked out perfectly!

This weeks Songs for Saplings CD giveaway is Songs for Saplings: ABC'S. It is a wonderful collection of bible verses that teach the word of God as little saplings study their ABC's. My kiddos love it - the songs are so catchy that I hear them reciting scripture throughout the day to these wonderful tunes. So, how do you win? Simple! Just link up a MMM post or leave a comment. If you do both, you are entered twice. Good "luck!"

Now it's time for some motivation...




I am very excited because this Wednesday we are kicking off a new 5:16 club study! We will be studying some of the prophets of the Old Testament, beginning with Habakkuk. There will be discussion questions, prayer days, and some other exciting things to encourage you on your journey. For all the juicy details, head on over to the forum on Wednesday. (If you want to join, just shoot me an email and I will add you to the list of 5:16 gals. You can grab the above button and link it here. If you want to participate in the study with the other gals, go ahead and get yourself signed up in the forum.) I hope to meet some new friends!

Your Turn!

• Share some advice, wisdom, practical applications, tips you've learned, etc. that you think would benefit and motivate others.

*Make sure to link directly to your MMM post and then link back here!

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Do You Know What Tomorrow Is?

Hello?! It's Motivate Me Monday! Do I really have to tell you? Link up and let's get MOTIVATED! :)

Oh yea, and I will announce the Songs for Saplings CD giveaway winner! (Tomorrow is also the last CD giveaway, so make sure you link up or comment for a chance to win!)

What Will You Do With This Power?

"It is woman who rocks the cradle of the world and holds the first affections of mankind. She possesses a power beyond that of a king on his throne."

Mabel Hale, Beautiful Girlhood

From a powerful woman: What A Waste

Unplugged - Updated

I unplugged...sort of...mostly!

For me, I realized more that when I intentionally focus on "no computer" I spend more time on the "details." I make a nice breakfast for the kids, sit with them at the table and talk with them more. I try to do these things anyway, but I'm not as fully engaged...I want to be.

Thank you Kimba for this great idea!

Over My Shoulder: Memories Of My Home Education

Today's guest post comes from Breezy, an 18-year old near-homeschool graduate from Indiana who enjoys drawing, painting and illustrating, music, studying History, writing and reading, and looks forward to someday sharing the joy of catching tadpoles with her children. You can visit her blog "A Bowl of Moss and Pebbles" here. She also has an etsy shop where you find her lovely artwork.

With my homeschool graduation fast approaching, Mom has been making a scrapbook of my life thus far. Returning to memory via hundreds of pictures, we can't help but reminisce over the many events, and not-so-eventful days, what God has taught us, and where we're still headed. So poignant and real they've become, I'll try to give you a glimpse.

If I could paint a picture of all the memories, you would see a conglomeration of romps through tall grass and woods, and determination while creating backyard forts and hand-sewn dolls. There's a furrowed brow over sharps and flats, and soiled but maturing hands reaching to caress the pets of all kinds. The combining of baking soda and peroxide sparked my interest in the mysteries of nature, and I was enthralled with the world of calligraphy.

Good books were constantly read aloud to me and my sister. We heard of brave maidens and pioneer women throughout history, and I longed to one day join the ranks of trial and victory. While listening and dreaming, I drew plans for underground tunnels to save refugees, lists of provisions for the Oregon trail, and careful drawings of the white gown I would wear the day I would begin a new journey with my knight in shining armor. I also remember family devotions around the Bible when Dad would read to us adventures and truth and reveal its Wisdom.

The canvas is deep and textured. But were these "activities" necessary? Was that really an equivalent education to the public schools? I did have book work, read plenty on my own, and yes, there were tests I took (and still have to take). But I have learned that education isn't how much you can cram into your brain before a test. It is knowing how to learn and loving that knowledge that is the truly valuable education.

Looking back over my shoulder, I see an abundantly blessed life and I am thankful beyond words for the life God called my family to live. I don't draw secret gondolas for escaping down the Venice Canal anymore, but I have been trained to think "multigenerationally" for my children's sakes. Will I be ready to safely guide them to scripture as my parents have with me? By the grace of God, yes, and on the memorable foundation laid by my Daddy and Momma.

Homeschooling Is Our Lifestyle . . .

Today's guest post is by Emily Rose of Simply Vintagegirl. She is a Christian young lady whose goal in life is to give glory to God by enjoying Him forever. He has saved her with His amazing grace and is continually molding her. She is an incredibly talented photographer and graphic designer... she also happens to be my fabulous blog designer! You can find her wonderful creations at her etsy shop.

Homeschooling is our lifestyle . . .

. . . but it didn't start out that way. We held the view that homeschooling was weird, strange, and only reclusive people did it (a common misunderstanding and stereotype).

My parents intended for both of their daughters to go to public school -- we even moved to another town so that we could be in a better school system.

The Lord had different plans for us. In Proverbs 16:9 it says, "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." God directed our steps down a path that we did not even think would be possible, let alone desirable.

My sister, Breezy, was in the middle of first grade and I had not started school yet. Just two years before, God called Momma out of the workplace. That was only the beginning of the adventure . . .

He laid it upon my parents hearts to homeschool us, Breezy and Emily Rose, then 6 and 5. Transitions had to be made.

My parents removed Breezy from the public school system (letting her stay an extra week so she could experience her promised class birthday party for her seventh birthday).

Home, sweet home

That all happened eleven years ago. Since then, Breezy and I have became the best of friends (and still are). We have been able to spend extra time developing important skills and working on our talents. We have been able to spend extra time together as a family.

Not everyday has been easy, though. There were days where one of us would cry over her math and the other would cry over her art lesson. I'm sure there were days where Momma wanted to cry, too.

Has it been worth all the pain? YES! The problems might have seemed extreme when they happened, but looking back we can laugh at those once upsetting moments.

The school years are the most influential years of a person's life. From Kindergarten to the High School years we are very impressionable, and what we are exposed to will have an impact on our lives.

When parents are not around to teach their children, things can enter a child's mind that the parent may not know about. Those things can be misunderstood by the child and not understood with a biblical worldview.

In homeschooling we have been shielded from the wiles of the world that we would be openly exposed to in public school. That doesn't mean that we do not know what is out there.

Instead of peers with an unbiblical worldview telling us about the evils of the world (many times in an "it's okay" light), we have been carefully exposed to them with a biblical worldview (when we were mature enough to handle it).

Another blessing of being homeschooled is having delight directed studies. Delight directed studies is where we spend extra time developing our talents (this has been especially important during the high school years).

We are now almost finished with our "formal" home education, but we'll still be learning because learning is a part of life.

Homeschooling is our lifestyle. It is not a year-by-year choice, but a life decision. It's something that happens whether it is a school day or a weekend. It's what I would call a never-ending adventure -- and it's a wonderful one at that!

Why I Am So Thankful That We Homeschool by Mrs. Robin Brookshire

Today's guest post is by Robin, owner of the blog Robin's Egg Blue. She is a homeschooling mama to her two "dahling" teen daughters, a wife to her sweetie for 24 years, and a lover of the life the Lord has blessed her with. She is a wise, older woman who has graciously agreed to share her insights with us. You can also read and glean more wisdom from Robin here (Lady of Wisdom interview). *I want to add a quick side note - I do not believe that anyone who chooses, for whatever reason, not to homeschool is a bad parent. If we love our children, we all want the best for them. We need to all be prayerful about our children's schooling and do our very best to obey the Lord in this decision.

Why I am so thankful that we Homeschool

by Mrs. Robin Brookshire

When I first learned about homeschooling it was so scary and intimidating. I tried to avoid it like the plague, but I am so glad that the Lord had other plans for us. He took away our fear and gave us faith to enter the world of homeschooling. I like to think of it as entering into “the promised land”. It has been a world of growth in character and in the knowledge and understanding of God’s word. It has been a time for our relationships to grow strong as we learn to love, forgive and serve each other. Oh, and to help with the character building, we threw in some Algebra and Latin for good measure.

Here are 7 reasons I am thankful to homeschool:

1. My daughters have not spent 8 hours a day, 180 days a year, for 12 years totaling 17,280 hours of their lives sitting under the teaching of a system that says there is no God. (Exception - Breezy was in government school for 1 ½ years.) Psalm 14:1 says “The fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God.’ They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds; there is no one who does good.” I know there are those special teachers out there and those special schools that may be just wonderful, but if they teach evolution as fact and don’t teach the fear of God, then refer back to Psalm 14:1.

2. My daughters have not spent those 17,280 hours listening to the blasphemous teaching of evolution, secular humanism or Marxism. And because they have not been indoctrinated in evolution they understand, by God’s grace and mercy, that they have been created in the image of God, wonderfully and fearfully made, and regard life as precious.

3. My daughters have not had to spend the majority of their lives under peer pressure in the government school’s style of socialization. We have had our share of the “S” question, “What about socialization?” My response to this socialization question is, “Do you think that all of mainstream America is well socialized? Are our prisons full? Do you only associate with people your own age? Are the majority of American families strong and doing well? Are people marrying and staying married? Is violence a problem in this country? Are the lives of innocent ones protected and treasured?” Oh, and one last question: “Where have the majority of these people received their education and their socialization?” Proverbs 13: 20, says, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

4. My husband and I have been blessed to teach our daughters diligently the words of God when we sit in our home, when we are going about our day, in the mornings, and in the evenings. Guess what that does? It makes you learn more about God’s word yourself!! This isn’t just about the children. By giving this commandment to teach your children in Deuteronomy 6:5-7, God knows that the parents are going to have to be studying His word too! I love that. “Parent-led home-based discipleship” gets both the parents and the children involved. Being with them throughout the day has made me have to be transparent before them. You can’t hide sins from people that you are with all the time.

5. My daughters have been able to grow in wisdom in a protected environment. They have also been able to grow in their gifting and talents. Proverbs 22:6 talks about training our children in the way they should go. The Lord has blessed each of us with definite bents and it is our job to search them out and train our children in who God has called them to be. This is not about going against the biblical teaching of male and female rolls, but encouraging them to use their talents in biblical ways that bring glory to God.

6. I love being with my daughters. At 18 and 16 years old they are a blessing to be around. That teenage myth thing is, well, a myth. Because of “parent-led home-based discipleship” we have been able to train them to be respectful, responsible, and to love the Word of God and their family.

7. Because of the fruit that I have seen in our girls and our family and knowing where we have come from, I am convinced that homeschooling really is from the compassionate hand of a merciful God, drawing our family closer together and teaching us all by His grace to serve Him better. May He receive all the glory! (Romans 9:15)

Tomorrow you will have a chance to read the perspective of Robin's daughters as they share with us their homeschooling experience.

Sarah Mae's Recommended Resource: Educating The Wholehearted Child, by Sally Clarkson


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Excuse Me, Where Is Your Mother?

Today's guest post comes from Christa Taylor. Christa Taylor is the daughter of Chris and Donna Taylor, and co-founded Christa-Taylor.com in 2006. A home-school graduate Christa and her sister Lindsay are passionate about raising up the next generation of women to live and proclaim the glories of Christ through lives committed to His Word. You can read more about them at their blogs: Christa, empoweredtraditionalist, Lindsay, passionatehomemaking.com

Recently, I saw some pictures of a dear family friend on Facebook that deeply disturbed me. The pictures in question revealed a young woman, scantily dressed, partying with her girlfriends. Who replaced the sweet, modest friend of my youth with this trashy streetwalker? Did I miss something? Excuse me, but where is your mother?

In a Feministic, Sex-saturated culture, discerning mothers are vital in raising up the next generation of biblical women.

But who can boast of a perfect mother/daughter relationship? Some us wince every time we here it mentioned.

I have never admitted to a perfect relationship with my mom. In fact, I don’t think two people could be more opposite! While she is methodical, I’m impulsive. She is traditional, I’m experimental, she dislikes attention, and I love it. While she loves early mornings, getting me up is like pulling teeth. We have disagreed on everything from fashion to finances. My relationship with my mother is two sinners in desperate need of God’s grace. He continues to use this key relationship to refine and sanctify us both.

What does scripture say about this relationship? Does the Word of God provide some model or example for us to follow? Titus 2 instructs us, the "older women are to train the younger women". The picture presented is that of a general instructing his "reinforcements". You are priming the next generation of women to carry the banner of biblical womanhood, to honor their husbands (even while unmarried), love their families and serve sacrificially. But no one said it was going to be easy.

As you nurture your daughter into this role- consider these three areas:

1. Nurture Patience for the journey


2. Nurture Your Friendship


3. Nurture Her Character

1) When you first got married, you probably weren’t fully aware of the vast patience that would be required for your spouse (and vice versa). The same is true for your daughter. Frankly, we can be stubborn, headstrong, foolish girls and we need your patience and understanding. When you feel like you’re not getting through and your debating with a brick wall- have patience. Speak the Word, and let the Holy Spirit do His work.

2.) I love doing things with my mom- find those activities that you can enjoy together; particularly, those activities that your daughter loves. You don’t like going shopping or getting a manicure? Just try it once-maybe she’s the athletic type or brainy chic, be interested in what she’s interested in. As your daughter gets older and starts making her own decisions, those "heart strings" connecting you both will be stronger than lectures.

3.) Spend time just chatting about Biblical womanhood, taking the little opportunities to teach and invest in her character. My mom is constantly teaching my sisters and I in little ways- Why this behavior was inappropriate, sharing a story from her former years, sharing what’s she’s read. Doesn’t have to be long, its "bite sized bits of wisdom". Ensure she is reading good books, take her to women’s meetings where she can glean from other women; make sure she has godly like-minded friends. Her character is what keeps her pure and modest when you’re busy and she’s off at college.

Every relationship is a work in progress; thankfully we are not relying on our own strength and insight, but His. God has sovereignty placed your daughter in your family and has sovereignty given you the exact gifting and wisdom for her.

Grace and Peace as you train up your biblical women!

Preaching to the choir,
Christa Taylor

Recommended Resources:
Girl Talk, Carolyn Mahaney

Sarah Mae is asking, "What is the greater purpose for modesty?" over at Is This Modest today.

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Self-Entitlement

This week I have a wonderful post for you from my friend, fellow blogger and 5:16 gal Laura from 10 Million Miles. Laura is happily Ryan’s wife, Vivienne’s and Lia’s mommy, and a child of God: She's blessed to have a life that can focus on these joys. She loves finding the Truth in unsuspecting songs, books, poems, and people. She adores teaching her children well and watching them fall in love with Jesus. Most of her blog is about those things.

What is Self-Entitlement and How Do I Get Rid of It?

Self-entitlement: The attitude that lurks just under my skin, ready to emerge whenever I’ve worked my rear-end off and think I deserve some sort of a pay-back. (Also, when I imagine that people are deliberately disregarding my time or work.) (Also, when I self-righteously call myself a “servant”, but expect to be treated like a “queen”. I once heard a pastor say, “If you want to be the servant of all, expect to be treated like it.” Who wants that?!)

Its appearance: I’ve noticed ugly self-entitlement in my own life when I demand a “break” from the children, a mind-reading husband or a clean house (“I just cleaned this entry-way! Who left their shoes right in the middle of the floor?!”).

Its symptoms: So, what begins as an ugly thought, becomes a silent-though-deadly sigh, which becomes a snippy comment (“I said, who left their shoes right in the middle of the floor?!”), which becomes resentful behavior (shoving shoes into the closet), which becomes a sulky, mean, and demanding me.

Its friends: I find that when I am indulging self-entitlement, I’m simultaneously indulging discontentment, resentment, pride, selfishness, and independence. ‘Must be what Paul was talking about when he wrote, “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” (James 3:16)

Its food: Somehow, self-entitlement seems to gobble away the lovely things in life like relational peace, service, contentment, and joy.

Its fault: It turns out that, even if I did work my rear-end off, picking up those shoes is yet another practical way that I can serve the shoe-owner who - let it be known - did not intentionally leave his shoes there just to make me mad, or to disrespect my hard work. Rather - now that I think about it - he worked just as hard as (harder than?) I did and happened to leave his shoes on the mat on one (very) ill-timed occasion. And chances are, he didn’t have time to put them in the closet because he was rushing to relieve me of a whining child, a load of laundry, or a burning pot of beans, which made our house spell like cigarette smoke for days.

Its freedom: The way I see it, I am entitled to 2 stunning rights:

To love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength
To love my neighbor as myself. (Of course, these basically open a glorious storeroom of rights to me: the rights to serve others, love others, and to enjoy peace, kindness, and gladness to my heart’s content.)

Beyond that, though, I’ve got no self-entitlements. None.

I am not entitled to sulk, complain, demand, destroy, or resent. If my husband needs to work an extra hour on Tuesday night, or leave his shoes in the doorway; if my child needs me to leave a friend’s house early because she is strung-out from that 10 a.m. cupcake, or if she needs me to use that precious nap-time to plan healthier snacks for the week, bring it on. Let the thanksgiving commence! Let this woman say, “Praise the Lord! He has entitled me to love!”

It’s fought with: Philipians 2:3, James 3: 16, Romans 12: 1 - 2, Philipians 4: 4 - 9, Galations 5: 22 - 23

(Don’t worry! The author of this text took plenty of feminist-theory classes in college and has read piles of books about a woman’s rights, privileges, and expectations. She concludes that the feminist mentality doesn’t hold a candle to the glories of living a feminine life of Christian service and sacrifice that glorifies God!)

I’ve also very recently been encouraged by Sally Clarkson’s teachings about “Celebrating Life”. Listen carefully to her words about drinking the cup that God has appointed to us with grace. You can watch it here


and here

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Play The Big Red Button Game - come on, you know you're curious....

Muhahahah.... :)

Helping A Friend "Weather A Storm"

Today's guest post is from Friend Chick, owner of the blog Godschicks. She is just one of God's Chicks, doing her best to bring Him glory and honor!

I think this post is a great follow-up to Traci's guest post on what loss taught her.

It's easy for me to say that I will pray for someone when they are going through a tough time, but the not so easy part is actually, physically and emotionally making myself available to that individual. I think part of the reason is that I then become emotionally involved, and I don't want to hurt.

But, hurting with your friends is part of friendship. My dearest friends are the ones who I have cried with and laughed with.

Don't be afraid to extend yourself to a friend when they are weathering a storm. It is important that they know that you really are caring for them. Together you will both be strengthened and encouraged.

1 - Make her a priority and follow through. If you're anything like me, it's often time in one ear and out the other. I have the best of intentions. "I'll call you this week and check in on you." And, when I made that statement, I truly meant it. But, it was said at church. And then I went out for lunch. And then the crazy week started. And pretty soon, it was Sunday again and I never called my hurting friend. Oops. Now I feel bad, but who knows are much worse my already hurting friend feels that I forgot about her. So, write it down! If you're a list maker, this will be easy for you. If you're a sticky noter, just make sure you put the note in an obvious place. If you haven't checked in by Wednesday, DO IT! It might be awkward, but even just a quick hello will suffice.

2 - Invite her out for coffee/lunch/dinner/play-dates/etc...It doesn't matter what you invite your friend to. The important thing is that you make the effort to get them out! After I had my daughter, the world around me was changed forever! My parents moved far away from me, my hormones were raging out of control, and some of my family members were having a difficult time, which began to affect me personally. I felt like I was trapped, but I was nursing and needed to be home with my baby. THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED was when my Party Chick called and told me she was coming over in 10 minutes and we were going OUT. We were only gone for an hour, but that was definitely a turning point.

3 - Bring something in. Call first, but bring over dinner, or breakfast. You could bring drinks or a snack. Whatever you bring, offer it as a blessing to your friend. If you are invited to stay, make sure that you can. Remember, make yourself available. But, don't take it personally if your friend does not extend an invite to lounge around. They may not be ready to talk, but they will be thankful for the blessing.

4 - Really listen. If you have kids (or a significant other) you know that not everyone listens to what you say (and vice versa...). When your friend decides to open up to you, remember that this is not the time to try to multitask. This will be easier if you are face to face, but you will need to make a conscious effort at truly listening (and not chiming in your thoughts and opinions unless they have been requested). Try not to make mental grocery lists or think about what you need to do after this. If your friend is spilling her heart to you over the phone, walk away from the computer. Put down your pen. Close your book. Open your heart and listen. Also, and this can be a tricky one, don't assume you know what the underlying problem is. Avoid the gossip going on around you and listen only to your friend. Since it's her life, I'm sure she'll have more insight as to what is going on with her than your busy-body "good intentioned" friends!

5 - Make your offers specific. Someone once told me that when someone is hurting, or needs help, don't say, "Call me if you need anything." Because, 9 times out of 10, they won't. Instead, make specific offers. "Do you want me to pick up your son on Friday and bring him over to my house?" Or, even better, "I'll pick up your son on Friday and bring him over to my house for dinner. I'll bring him home around 6." Your friend can still say no, but you have made a very specific offer in a way that will help her.I had a lot of ladies offer to do my grocery shopping for me, or they would call when they were on their way to the store to see if I needed anything. This was super helpful! And, how easy. They were already going to the store. Another offer that was so humbling for me was when ladies offered to help me clean my house. I was physically unable to do it, and seeing that dust build up was starting to make me twitch. This was such a blessing to have ladies willing to bless me in such a way. Again, an easy thing to do, and yet, so helpful.

6 - Try praying with your friend. Many of us don't like praying outloud. But, I know that when someone says they will be praying for me, I'm not sure who really will commit to it. However, if someone says, "Let me pray for you," that is immediate. I know this person is actually praying. Plus, I feel as though that person will continue to stand in the gap for me. This is putting a little action behind your words.

7 - Offer words of encouragement. You may not have the perfect words to say, but just saying that you're sorry, or you can't even imagine what it's like. Sometimes just an "I love you" will suffice. If you have not experienced their pain, try to refrain from phrases like, "I know how you feel" or "I understand." You have the best of intentions, but these often times are misconstrued and misinterpreted, and will put distance between you, instead of bringing you closer.Sending a card is also a great way to love on your friends. Who doesn't love getting mail? This is a fast way for you to send your love her way and offer your friend encouragement!

8 - Understand the emotional roller-coaster. If your friend is suffering from a loss, remember that they will go through many different emotions. The grieving process includes times when they will feel sad, angry, guilty, happy, confused, etc. Please don't take emotional outbursts personally. If a friend asks for some time alone, honor her request. She is not upset with you, but needs time to process her feelings. You can still love on her. This is the prime time to bring in something for her and leave. Maybe bring over a sweet card or send one. Don't forget about her, though. Don't let yourself get hurt and wait for her to contact you when "she's ready". Continue to be proactive. In a week, give her a quick call to let her know that you are thinking of her. Ask if you can bring something over. Offer to do something for her. Don't write her off!

9 - Respect her privacy! If you have been let in to confident pieces of your friend's heart, DO NOT disclose this information to anyone else. TO ANYONE ELSE!!! You have been entrusted to keep something very personal, and she is counting on you to remain true to your word. Lock it up like Fort Knox. If you struggle with this, then you need to pray that God will give you the needed strength to keep this information private. Write it down on paper and then shred it. Whatever you have to do, you must remain loyal to your friend. Many friendships have ended due to gossip. REMEMBER: Bringing up a "prayer request" about your friend's personal situation is the same as gossip! If she wants prayer, she'll ask for it. Stand down!NOTE: If your friend is in danger, make sure you encourage her to seek help. Use your best judgement. In a situation where she has told you that she is planning on harming herself, or someone else, you'll need to discern what must be done. Gossip is very different than alerting the authorities, or calling a helpline. This may upset her initially, and may possibly end your friendship, but you also need to do what is right.

10 - Invite the Lord to help you. Just because you have made yourself available to your friend does not mean that you must go this alone. God is always there to help you. He will give you strength, patience, compassion, whatever you are in need of, He will provide for you.

Thank you, Sarah Mae, for this opportunity to post over here. I hope these tips were helpful. I'm planning on outlining some suggestions on how to "weather" your own storm. Come on over and check it out.

Spring Reading Thing!

The Spring Reading Thing is just what I need to start reading again. It has been a long time since I have really enjoyed a good book because I am just too busy to read! With two toddlers and a new baby, finding time to do anything is a challenge! But, I want this, I need this...

I realize my book list is super short, but I'm just being realistic. If I finish these four and have time for more, I will add more books.

Here is my spring reading list (I am very excited about it!):

Beautiful Girlhood, Mabel Hale

Who Wants To PARTY?!

Oooh, I do, I do!!!

Welcome friends, strangers, fellow mama's...I love a good party - I am an extreme extrovert you know!

First things first! You can officially meet me here to learn all about who I am and what this blog is all about. After that, you may want to look around a bit...

I suggest starting with some delicious bean dip, or perhaps you are more in the mood for something sweet - I recommend this fabulous yogurt cake. If you just want chocolate, then head on over here for some choco heaven!

Now, if you are into cleaning and organizing, might I suggest you peruse my 31 Days To Clean series (that will soon be updated and available in a FREE ebook!). In this series, you will get to know all about the "six list," staying on task, developing a workable schedule, overcoming laziness, and oh so much more!

Summer is fast approaching, so maybe you would like to work on dressing in a modest yet feminine way. Perfect! Check out 10 Days To Modest! Complete with fashion show and all!

Have toddlers and need some ideas of what to do with them during the day? Some great ideas can be found here!

Do you need a little motivation when Monday comes to get you through the week? Well, if you don't, I do! Join me for Motivate Me Mondays right here every Monday morning and get motivated (and motivate others)!

Want a friend who relates with the ups and downs of marriage? Want someone to journey with as you seek to become an "excellent" wife? Let me encourage you with my Marriage Is Hard series. As you strive to have a godly marriage, maybe you could also use the series "Ex Prep" where you dig a little to see if your husband really does have all of your heart.

If you find yourself believing things such as, "I am not good enough," "I am ugly," "I am stupid" or any other lies, please please please check out my Core Lies series so you can start to be set free.

Alrighty gals, have fun...hope you come back for more! Oh, and be sure to leave a comment so I can come and visit you!

Join me everyday for coffee by subscribing here! (What does it mean to subscribe?)

Powerful Guest Post - What Loss Taught Me

Today's guest post is from Traci. Traci lives in sunny So. Cal with her youth pastor husband and 2 boys; a teenage step-son and a toddler foster son. She’s experienced pregnancy loss, including the death of her identical twin daughters at birth. She enjoys reading, jazz, the beach, and corny romantic movies that have very predictable endings. You can discover more about her journey at Milk & Honey {www.thegarbers.blogspot.com}.

What Loss Taught Me

1. He weeps with us. With Lazarus He wept not at the death of His friend {He was very aware that Lazarus was going to be popping back to life rather quickly}, but He showed tender love and mercy to those around him that were grieving. He felt their pain, and He wept. He wants us to intimately approach His throne with our pain. He felt mine, and He feels yours.


2. He never abandons a project. What God has started in us he will never abandon. Though there are times that we feel stuck in a heap of garbage; as though we were beaten down pieces of junk mixed into the abyss of trash. We must remind ourselves that we are never alone. Even in the moments that look like the ugliest of uglies. We are not alone. He began an amazing work in us, and He will finish it.


3. Reliance. I used to live in this world where things were safe and God fit in when I had time. I call those days my days of innocence. I didn't realize what a disservice that thinking was at the time. Then in one moment everything I thought I was made for was pulled out from under me and suddenly there was no security. My eyes were opened to realities I didn't want to see. In order to survive, literally – in order to get through each day and hour, I HAD to rely on my Father. I found myself with this desire, this need, this craving. An utter reliance to submit and give my life to the One greater than I. In an instant everything I had found comfort in prior had failed me and I found a strength I didn't realize was there. I am beyond thankful for this.


4. To fight for the plunder {Exodus 12:35-36}. When the Israelites left Egypt they didn't leave empty handed. They left with the plunder from the enemy. They walked out of the valley richer then they had entered. Allow the circumstance you are in to change you and mold you and renew you. The enemy will feed you lies; choose to believe God's truth about your situation and then steal the plunder. He wants you to walk out stronger. He is the only thing that can fully heal, but you must ask Him and know it will take work on your part. He not only wants you healed, He wants you to know the Healer.


5. Every ounce of suffering is a stepping stone for further kingdom building. You, fellow sufferer are being used to build God's kingdom. It sure doesn't feel like it in the midst of the suffering, does it? The plunder that you will steal when you walk out of your valley a conqueror … give that back to God. The Israelites used it to build God's temple {they took gold and silver, stripping the Egyptians of their wealth}. You will be able to use the experiences you are enduring to touch others, reach others, bond with others, and minister to others in ways you can not even imagine. God refined me greatly during my time of grief and my struggles to find my way. Or rather His way. And I believe that what He has taught and what I have been through were tiny lessons that are preparing me for moments I have yet to encounter. My loss will be used for His glory.


6. The scars will remain. What I was will never be again. I have accepted the marvelous miracle of this. When Jesus was raised from the grave He came with His scars. He could have been completely physically healed, but instead God chose to allow the scars remain and now we can see much beauty and testimony in them. There’s beauty in our scars too. There was a time I thought my heart would never be whole again, but in time He has shown me that He can fill those places; He can fill them to overflowing. He opened my eyes to the fact that my heart was never full to begin with, I just never realized it.


7. I am different. Grab a pen and a piece of paper. Write down a bunch of zeros. What do you have? A bunch of nothings. Carefully add a 1 in front of the zeros and you'll be looking at a number signifying wealth. If I take all of the details of my loss and look at them alone they equal a big heap of awful nothingness. But if I add the One who holds my heart in front of them I can see a picture of much worth. The world will never understand, but we were made for more. The follower of Christ is different. Every trial we encounter will hold more potential then we will ever be able to fathom. He wants to you to see the worth in your circumstances, in your zero's. Put Him in the front because only then is it worth anything. Only then is it beautiful.
   

These are just a fragment of the things my daughters gave me when I handed them back to Jesus shortly after birth. Though my mind occasionally wonders off to what my life would be like had the last 5 years not happened, I can honestly say that I think I am right where God wants me to be. I look at my heart now and the glimpses God has given me and I will tell you that while I’d never choose to endure the grief again, I also wouldn’t change a thing. There is such a hope in loss, and such a joy in being granted a share of Christ’s suffering. These are things I would have never known. This is what my daughters have given me.

Sarah Mae is over At The Well today.

10 Ways to Teach Toddlers and Preschoolers

Today's guest post is by Christin from Journey To A Gracious Woman. Christin is a wife and a mother of four. Her desire is to strive toward being that virtuous woman, that gracious woman. She is learning much about how to become her, and it’s through Jesus alone.

(Christin's post works for me!)

10 Ways to Teach Toddlers and Preschoolers

As a homeschooling mom, I have struggled with finding ways to keep Mr. Faithful (2) and Mr. Patient (3.5) engaged in something while working with Miss Joy, who is 6. Over the last several weeks, I have researched and tried different things to, not only keep them busy and content, but to teach them as well!

Sometimes we tend to forget that simple is best! We have somehow come to believe that if it didn't take hours and much effort to pull together and plan, that it's not worth it or it's not going to work. Not true! I have found 10 ways to teach toddlers and/or preschoolers with a variance of independence and working with mom. Keep in mind different children will learn with different styles. Feel free to conform anything to suit the needs and best learning style for your child.

1. Puzzles- many children love puzzles. The possibilities are endless! There are wooden puzzles, cardboard puzzles, letter puzzles (see picture below). Puzzles will vary depending on the stage of your child. These can be done independently or together. My 3-year sometimes wants me to just sit and watch him put one together!
   



2. Felt Fun - You can easily create a felt board (or just use your couch!). Cut out shapes from felt, different sizes and different colors and let your child create! Add a few strings of yarn in for use on a kite! Round off some rectangles to make leaves. Round off some small triangles to make flower petals; only the longer points. This is another activity which can be done together or independant. My children prefer to create on their own with this, but will show me each of their masterpieces as they finish them!
   



3. Story Time - This is an activity that is usually done together. Some book suggestions include: Owl Babies by Martin Waddel, The Real Mother Goose, Dr. Suess' ABC's (and other favorites by Dr. Suess, Eric Carle Books, Bill Martin Books. Many books are not required. Often times, toddlers and preschoolers enjoy having the same book read to them over and over. We went through a 6-week period that we read Owl Babies to my three year old 2-4 times per day! The other children joined in on it because we made fun out of it by overacting it out. The kids really enjoyed that! Don't under estimate the power of reading to your child. This is very important for language development and later, reading skills. Reading is the foundation and "building blocks" of learning. If our children do not have a rich and strong start in reading, they could struggle all the way through school, because they find comprehension difficult in areas like science, history, and literature, thus missing all the aspects of learning these things.
   



4. Drawing/Scribbling- Hand your toddler and/or preschooler a clean sheet of white paper and a simple pencil or crayon and let them at it! Often, in the morning hours, the children will sit at the table and simply draw to their hearts delight! This can go on for an hour or two! These are very important pre-writing skills. Toddlers usually don't hold attention for that long, so once your toddler tires of drawing, offer him/her a new activity or allow them to play independently with a toy they enjoy
   



5. Beads- If you have large beads, you can allow your littles to string beads. This is excellent for fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination. This is something that has kept my boys busy for a good period of time. Not only can they string them, they can sort them, learn colors, and dump/pour from one cup to another.
   



6. Lacing Pals - Another wonderful way to work those fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination is to let them lace with lacing pals (or other lacing items). My 3-year old, as creative as he is, learned how to lace (or sew) two of them together all on his own.
   



7. Music and Movement: This is a great way to get some exercise and memory work done. You can choose songs that teach things like ABC's and rhymes, or you can simply put on upbeat praise music and let them Praise the Lord! It's great to get our children praising the Lord at an early age.
   



8. Coloring Books: Ok, there was a time when I was actually slightly against coloring books (ever heard of the "Anti-Coloring Book series"?) Then I got to thinking. I don't think they are all that bad. I think they are an excellent way to learn fine motor control. After all, in order to stay in the lines, children must control where their crayon stops and goes. Give your child a coloring book of their favorite character, and it will keep them happy for a spell!
   



9. Stickers - My preschooler especially loves stickers. He may not be the most economical with them...using an entire sheet in one sitting and just sticking them all on a piece of paper in no particular order. But, again, he is exercising those lovely fine motor skills, which pave the way to writing and forming letters. It also allows for his own creativity.
   



10. Blocks - Good 'ol fashion building blocks; wooden, plastic, mega blocks and so forth. Toddlers and preschoolers LOVE to build with blocks. It allows their imagination to flow freely and they can build something new every time.

Everything mentioned in this list teaches our children something. It helps their development, whether physical, spiritual, imaginative, or intellectual. We do not have to put something together that is time consuming and more "structured" in order for our children to learn. Often, the best learning comes from the simple things. We can give our children a little and they will do the rest.

Hop on over to Christin's blog and give her some love!

Side note - I'm posting my article, Are You Pure? over at Is This Modest today!

Awesome List Ideas

Today's guest post is by Jennifer Tankersley, the creator of ListPlanIt where you can find over 350 printable lists and planning pages to organize your life and put your world in order, including the pages mentioned in this post. She also writes List Mama Blog: Lists for List-Lovin’ Mamas.

I have used lists all of my life, but in the past few years, my passion for lists has become even more pronounced. As a mother of 3 children and a business owner, I have discovered a multitude of ways that lists can make my life easier and more productive. Some lists need to be recreated each and every day, but some can simply be started and added to over a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime. Lists can be hung on the refrigerator, punched and placed into your own home binder, and/or distributed to the members of your family. Here are my favorite lists used for the different aspects of my life.

Mom's Favorite Lists

1. To Dos – I like a page that shows an entire week that I can write my tasks and goals for each day.
   
2. Meals – I use a Menu Planner to plan meals for my family for a pay period (2 weeks). From that, I create a shopping list based on those meals that I chose.
   
3. Blogging – I know not everyone is a blogger, but in my case, I cannot live without my list of Blog Post Ideas.
   
4. Gifts – I keep a running list of the gifts that I pick up for my children, husband, and others along the way. This prevents me from overspending for birthdays and Christmas and helps me remember what I already have.
   
5. Saturday Morning Chores – I keep a list of the chores that each member of my family is responsible for on the weekend. Then I just distribute their portion of the list and check in with them to make sure they are getting their tasks done.
   
6. Clothing Inventories – Every summer and winter, I break out the tubs of clothing that I am using to corral the clothes that I have purchased at the end of the last season. I have found that an inventory helps keep me in check. One year, I pulled out 18 pairs of shorts for my son for that season. They all had tags, and each tag said $2 or less, but it doesn’t really save me money if I go overboard like that. It was a good lesson to me.
   
7. Travel – I am a careful travel planner, particularly with young children. I like to know how we are getting somewhere, how long it will take, where we are staying, what we may be eating, and anything else that I can plan ahead of time. A Travel Itinerary with Travel
8. Details is a must. Then, of course, there is the Packing List, which is an absolute necessity if you want to remember the formula, video camera, or the blankies.
   
9. Contacts – I keep a list of banks, teachers, restaurants, and my favorite service providers with a telephone number, address, and website information.
   Birthday/Holidays – There is so much involved with special occasions. I keep track of it all by listing everything I can: cards, guests, food, crafts, etc.
   
10. Fun – I keep a list of the things there are to do in the area. I note the season for which the activity is most appropriate, hours of operation, and the cost. Then on the weekends when my family wants to do something, we refer to the list

For more great list ideas, head on over to List Plan It or List Mama Blog!

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Motivate Me Monday! Giveaway Winner Announced...And Another Giveaway!

Good morning!

First off, let me announce the winner of last week's Songs for Saplings CD giveaway...drum roll please...

Congrats to Laurie, from The Darnell Family! Yay!

Now onto the third CD giveaway - Questions & Answers Volume Three, Christ and His Work! On this CD you will find great questions like, "What is meant by the Atonement?" and "How is Christ your priest?" How about this one, "How were people saved before the coming of Christ?"

I know! Good stuff! To enter, either link up or leave a comment! If you do both, you are entered twice!

Now on to MMM...

Here is a thought-provoking motivation for you today: Hatred of our weaknesses is a big block - we can't hate our weaknesses. God uses our weaknesses for redemptive purposes.

YOUR TURN!

• Share some advice, wisdom, practical applications, tips you've learned, etc. that you think would benefit and motivate others.

*Make sure to link directly to your MMM post and then link back here!

Join me every MMM for coffee by subscribing here!

Top 10 Easy Chocolate Desserts (Who Doesn't Need A Little Chocolate In Their Day?!)

Hi, I’m Lisa from Stop and Smell the Chocolates. We all need a little break from our stressful days, so I’m taking time to enjoy God’s sweet blessings. Come on by and I'll try to brighten your day a bit. If that happens to involve chocolate, even better!

I’m excited for Sarah Mae - becoming a mommy of 3 lovely children now! Having a baby is hard work, so I am here to help out for a day!

When Sarah Mae asked me to guest post, she suggested coming up with a Top 10 list of chocolate recipes from my blog. What makes her think I like chocolate?? OK - I love chocolate and post chocolate recipes on Fridays.

Since Sarah Mae will be extremely busy taking care of a newborn baby, I know that she won’t have a lot of time or energy to whip up a fabulous chocolate dessert. Then it occurred to me that many moms are very busy and don’t have that time or energy either. Some of you are just looking for something quick and easy, but more homemade than grabbing a box of something from the store.

So, to help bring easy chocolate desserts into your lives, here are my…

Top 10 Easy Chocolate Desserts (in no particular order):

1. Toffee Cookies

2. Cookie Salad

3. Cake Mix Chocolate Cookies

4. Cookies & Cream Dessert

5. Frozen Chocolate Mousse

6. Double Delicious Cookie Bars

7. Chocolate-Coconut Cookies

8. YuMMy Bars

9. Microwave Brownies

10. And from right here at Like a Warm Cup of Coffee: No Bake Cookies

The majority of these recipes take no more effort than making a box mix of brownies, so try out a new recipe today! While you’re at it, make some extra for Sarah Mae - I’m sure she’d appreciate it! :)

What Are You Passionate About?

Today's guest post is from Christy, from Between Here and Home. She is a stay at home mother to three wonderful children- ages 18,12, and 11. Her husband is a pastor at a church in the community where she lives. She has only been blogging for a short time but loves that it is a way for her to journal the happenings in her family and her journey with Jesus Christ. Along the way, she has met many amazing, creative, inspirational, and encouraging women who are passionately pursuing Jesus too.

What are you passionate about? Today, Christy shares with us her passions to encourage us all to pursue what is good.

1. I am passionate about loving my children and husband well. God continues to show me what this really means and looks like in my life. I want to love my family well in both my actions and my words. Yes, there have been many mistakes made along the way, but I know that grace, forgiveness, and love has covered it all.


2. As a wife and mother, I am passionate about making our home place that is a refuge. One that is filled with grace, peace, lots of laughter, unconditional love, forgiveness, and one in which memories are being made.


3. One of my biggest passions... all things peanut butter and chocolate!


4. I am passionate about friendships.


5. I have a passion for cooking. I know this comes from a grandmother and mother who, in my book, are the best cooks ever. My mother never really "taught" me to cook, but I witnessed the love she had in preparing meals for our family growing up. I love home cooked meals, collecting recipes and cookbooks, and watching Food Network. (Giada, Ina, and Paula are my favorites!)


6. I am passionate about my relationship with Jesus. I have definitely had times of not pursuing Jesus the way I should, but I know that His love and acceptance is steadfast and unconditional. In these last several years, my knowledge, love, and seeking Him has been taken to a whole new level. I have learned to trust and believe no matter what the circumstances may be around me. My faith has been stretched but through that my heart has been changed, molded, and drawn closer to Him.


7. I am passionate about leaving a legacy for my children. I want more than anything for my children to see Jesus in my eyes. Leaving a legacy for them means that they know that I pray for them and that I am teaching them in my everyday life what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ.


8. I have a passion for photography. Although I am still learning how to use my new camera, I would like to think that I really am learning some things about basic digital photography. I have always loved capturing events and special moments on my camera. Ask my children, they will tell you I take pictures of everything!


9. Another passion of mine... time spent at the beach with family. Nothing can compare to the way the sand feels between my toes, the sound of the ocean, the breeze, and reading a really great book at the beach. Every other summer our family travels to Sunset Beach, North Carolina and by far some of the best memories we have had been made there.


10. And finally, I am passionate about really being a living testimony, a life that has been changed because of knowing Jesus.

Check out Christy's uplifting blog if you get a chance!

If you don't want to miss any of Like A Warm Cup Of Coffee's future posts, click here!

4 Simple Strategies to Stress-Free Coupon Shopping

Today's guest post is from Stephanie, the wife of a wonderful husband and mom to her favorite 3 kids in the world! She loves that she has the blessing of staying home to raise and homeschool her children. On the other hand, she loves that she has the opportunity to blog as an "outlet" for herself. She had heard a lot about couponing throughout the years, but always thought it took too much time. Not until this past year did she figure out that it’s not as hard as she had thought! Since a wife and stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of 3 little ones could do it, she knew she had to share it with others! If you visit The Coupon Game, she hopes you find it to be a site that is all about "keepin’ it real!"

4 Simple Strategies to Stress-Free Coupon Shopping!

Every week, I post on my blog my finds for the "Best Of" CVS and Walgreens Deals, so in keeping with the lingo, I would really love to take this guest post opportunity to share my favorite "Best Of" couponing strategies! Whether you’ve never coupon shopped in your life, grab a few before you head out to the store, or are already a full-on coupon gamer, I hope these simple strategies will help you to be more efficient with your time and money.

1. Start clipping coupons. Sounds simple, right?! It is!!! Whether you find them online or in your Sunday’s weekly coupon inserts, this is the place to start. You can always check my blog and the great thing about the coupon blog world is that there are so many resources to finding great coupons. The great part is it’s all free!


2. Get organized. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten to the store only to find that I left numerous coupons at home. To keep it simple, grab an envelope and label it with the store’s name. Place the coupons inside that you’ll be using an head off to the store. You’ll save yourself a lot of stress in the end. Of course, don’t forget to grab the envelope!


3. Make a plan. A menu plan is a great place to start. There are numerous sites that can help you find recipes to use for items on sale. Recipezaar.com is one of my favorites! Look for the items that are on sale that week, or maybe you’ve stockpiled items from weeks back that you’re ready to use up, and build your menu plan off of these items.


4. Make a list. Never head out to the store without a list! I can’t stress this enough. I write mine out to the ‘T’ including my coupon match-ups. I know how much I’m going to spend before I even get to the store. That way, I keep in the budget and I know when there’s a little wiggle room for a last-minute splurge. You may not be this organized, but with a list in hand, you are much better prepared to stay in a budget. It gets easier as you learn to make the habit.
   

Before couponing, our family didn’t technically have a budget when it came to food shopping. If we needed something, we didn’t even look at the price. We just bought it. Looking back, we were spending upwards of $650/month on groceries alone. Now that I coupon shop, we are spending in the range of $350-$400/month and that includes toiletries. That’s a savings of $300/month! Our turning point was when we decided we weren’t being the best stewards of God’s money and so we decided to make some changes. Now, we are living debt-free, and enjoying saving before we purchase. Each week I challenge myself and make a game out of seeing how much I can save. You can find out more about coupon shopping at my blog… The Coupon Game.

Top 10 Tips For Effective Time Management

Today's guest post is from Katie, a Christian wife and a stay at home mom to a 4 year old son and a 2 year old daughter. She blogs about managing her family, frugal living, cooking, organizing and all things homemaking at Three Blondes and a Redhead.

Time is a non-renewable resource. We can't get back days, hours or moments in time, so it makes sense for us to use our time as wisely as possible. Now, I'm not talking about constantly going, going, going and never taking a break...we all need our downtime, but even downtime can be intentional.

I consider myself to have fairly good time management skills. I am often asked, "How do you get so much done?" and the answer is simple: I love to be efficient. Webster's defines the word efficient as "productive of desired effects; especially productive without waste." Throughout my day, I am conscious of how I can do things efficiently. Without waste. I want to make every moment of my day count, whether I'm doing chores, playing with my kids or vegging in front of the computer.

I certainly don't have all of the answers to help make the world a more productive place, but I do have some suggestions to help you get more out of your days. Here are my...

Top 10 Tips for Effective Time Management

1. First Things First: Prioritize. What is most important to you? Your friends? Family? Hobbies? As Christians, our priorities should be: God, spouse, kids. In that order. THEN come other people, yourself and your hobbies. It is the way we were designed and, although some may argue that our kids should come before our spouse, keeping your priorities in the order I mentioned will keep all of your relationships healthy. Your marriage will suffer if you put your children before your relationship with your spouse. Your children will suffer if you put outings with your friends above quality time with them. YOU will suffer if you don't put God above all else and carve out time each day to spend with Him and in the Bible. Once you've established your priorities, it's easy to weed out the to-do items that don't fit into the bigger picture. Become comfortable saying, "no" to things that take too much time away from your priorities. Someone else will step up to lead the PTA or the church picnic or the soccer team's community car wash. If you're passionate about those things, by all means, DO them, but know your limits. Make sure your volunteer efforts for complete strangers don't interfere with what's most important in your life.



2. Get enough sleep. Recently, someone asked me, "Do you ever sleep?" I know she was kidding, but I do, actually. I'm a grouch when I'm sleep deprived. I need at least eight hours of sleep each night, preferably nine...it's kind of a nuisance! I truly believe that I get more done during my day because I'm well-rested. I could possibly do even more if I cut out an hour or two of sleep each night, but I wouldn't be the gentle, pleasant, calm wife and mom that God calls me to be. (Believe me, even with enough sleep I struggle with that - I need all the help I can get!) I heard once that Martha Stewart sleeps 3-4 hours a night. That explains how SHE gets so much done, but it also gives some insight into the rumors that she's difficult behind the scenes, don't you think?
   



3. Early to bed, early to rise. I'm not naturally a morning person. I am very productive at night, but I've recently realized that I'm a happier person if I wake up before my family. I took Sarah Mae's challenge of waking up at the crack of dawn and joined the 5:16 girls. (I'm actually a 6am girl, but it totally counts because my kids aren't up until 7:00) If you take that time to prepare yourself, your heart and your home, you will be shocked at how fluid the rest of your day can be. Not every day will be rainbows and puppy dogs, but your attitude will be better as you tackle each situation with love and grace. My new habit is to pray first thing, in the dark, by myself...even before I get out of bed. Sometimes my prayers are 2 minutes, sometimes they're 10, but giving God the first fruits of my time pleases Him and sets my day up for success. I pray for my husband, for wisdom as I guide my kids throughout the day, for gentleness and for grace, plus whatever or whoever else pops into my head.
   



4. Develop a routine. Even if you spend most of your time at home, giving your day a routine will give you and your family a predictable rhythm to follow. When we moved into a 2-story house, I found myself (and my son) in our PJs long after the breakfast dishes were done. We just didn't seem to make it back upstairs! So I determined that we would get dressed, brush our teeth and make our beds all before going downstairs every morning. Once it's done, it's out of my mind and I am more motivated to be productive. Developing routines for recurring tasks (laundry, paying bills, making dinner) will shave time off of each job and allow you to spend your time doing other things. Personally, I've finally conquered the never-ending pests of dishes and laundry. I live in Phoenix, where we are given "off peak" hours to use our electricity at a discounted rate. Off peak hours begin at 9:00pm and end at 9:00am, so I've gotten into the habit of starting my dishwasher and a load of laundry every night at 9:00. While the kids are eating breakfast in the morning, the clothes in the washer go into the dryer and I unload the clean dishwasher. I fold the load of laundry before we leave the house and put the clothes away so that chore is completely done and off my plate. Dishes and laundry no longer pile up in our house because I have a routine.
   



5. Keep lists. Don't trust your memory! Let's face it, people - we're losing brain cells every minute and as moms, we're not getting them back. I love lists. The grocery list on my fridge keeps me from running to the store for that ONE last thing. I add to my to-do list as I think of items, then I look at it daily. Be sure to put big and small items on different lists so you can begin feeling a sense of accomplishment. ("buy a gift for Tommy's birthday party" and "tile the kitchen" should never be on the same list unless they're getting done on the same weekend) Star the things that need to get done today and don't feel overwhelmed by the other items on the list. You can work on those tomorrow. For long-term goals, I was recently encouraged by some friends to make a 101 Goals in 1001 Days list. It's a great way to cross off some of the major items in your head with a more realistic, LONG-term timeframe.
   



6. Do the worst thing first. In the book, "Secrets to Getting More Done in Less Time" by Donna Otto (a book I HIGHLY recommend) the author makes a profound statement in one of the chapters: It's not what you DO that wears you down, it's what you DON'T DO. Think about that for a minute. We tend to get the "easy" tasks done first and put off (or sometimes never even do) the tough stuff. I am a natural procrastinator. I figured out years ago that if I hurry up and cross off the worst stuff on my to-do list first, a weight was lifted off my shoulders for the rest of the day. Start slow - pick out the top 2-3 most important tasks that you need to do today and do one of them before anything else. What are you dreading? Giving the dog a bath? Labeling items for your garage sale? Calling your sister to apologize for snapping at her last night? Try doing it first thing in the morning. I think you'll be surprised how nice your day is when those things are done at the beginning of the day. It's quite freeing!
   



7. Guard your child-free time and use it effectively. For those of you with kids, especially young ones still at home, are you conscious of what you can accomplish with the kids around versus your time alone? I have a mental list of things that I do during naptime: check emails, blog, scrapbook, catch up on recorded episodes of American Idol or Jon & Kate Plus 8. (This is a great show to recharge your mommy battery!) I don't do those things during my kids' waking hours. But there are a ton of things that I CAN do while they're awake, things that I've resolved to avoid during naptime: dishes, laundry, dust, pick up toys, make meals...not only can I do these chores with the kids in tow, they can benefit from watching me do them and have eventually learned to help. My nearest grocery store has a Kids Club, so I don't mind taking the kids shopping with me and they LOVE going to Costco to sample all of the snacks, yet taking them to the post office or to the dentist is a nightmare...so I save those things for days that I have childcare help.
   



8. Consolidate errands. I try to go to the gym every morning. (Side note: Daily workouts guarantee me an hour of time all to myself while the kids run wild in someone else's care - I highly recommend joining a gym! SO worth the investment...) Our gym is near a major shopping area in my town, so I always try to run an errand or two on the way home. I'll get gas at Costco and run to Trader Joe's or return something at Target and run into Joann's for some scrapbooking supplies. For the kids' sake, I usually do one short errand and one that might be a little longer. By doing 1-2 errands a day, I rarely feel overwhelmed. Plus it gives our day variety and gets the kids out of the house.
   



9. Plan interruptions into your day. Are you usually late? Racing to get from place to place, hoping to avoid a speeding ticket? Yeah, I was like that too. Then in college, someone gave me an amazing timeliness tip: However long you think it will take you to get somewhere, add 10 minutes. If you think it will take you less than 20 minutes to get somewhere, double the time. (for example: if you assume it will take you 15 minute, leave 30 minutes beforehand and when you think it will take 30 minutes, allow 40 minutes travel time) Suddenly, I was on time everywhere I went. Or *gasp!* - 5 minutes early. It was an amazing paradigm shift. The extra time allows for the unexpected: getting caught at every red light, needing to stop for gas, forgetting the diaper bag and needing to turn around to get it...the list goes on and on. By trying to do that one more thing before you leave the house, you are beginning a domino affect of inconvenience to others. I felt so selfish when I realized that when I run late for the doctor, they run behind all day long. Yet now, I get to sit in the waiting room for an hour because someone else ran late at an earlier appointment. Break the cycle and resolve to leave 10 minutes earlier everywhere you go.
   



10. Discover and utilize useful resources. I've mentioned that I let my kids play at the Kids Club at the gym and at the grocery store while I workout and shop. What kinds of resources do YOU have that you may not have discovered yet? Last year, I met a neighbor with kids near my children's ages and we utilize each other every week. On Monday mornings, we trade babysitting. One week she has my kids and I get things done around the house or around town, the next week I take her kids while she has free time. Then on Thursdays, we meal-swap. One week I double my dinner recipe and bring her family a hot, fresh meal at 5:30pm, the next week I don't cook and she brings our family dinner at 5:30. It's a great trading system. And there's an added bonus: I've found that my kids disappear when her kids come over every other Monday. I actually slate that time to deep-clean my kitchen while the kids play in the backyard and I peek at them out the window.
    

Okay, so what do you do with all of this overwhelming information? Start small. Just like I recommended when tackling the to-do list, pick a few of the items I've listed and try incorporating them into your life. You have the ability to be productive and efficient with your time - you just need to grow and develop the skills to incorporate more into your day. So...which items are you going to try?

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