Let me paint a familiar picture for you of a typical married couple:
Husband (trying to initiate a physical encounter by "groping" his wife): No words needed.
Wife (busy with something -dishes, computer, etc.): "Quit it! I'm right in the middle of something. Honey, I love you, but come on, can you just give me some space? All you do is want something physical from me! Can you just wait?!"
Husband: Goes and does something else.
Some feelings of disrespect, a little rejection, a missed opportunity for godliness.
Let's face it, marriage is hard. While it is also a refuge, the fact is that God intentionally made man and woman different - complementary, but also at odds. We have to make the effort to love the other in ways that may not, and probably are not, like our own (especially when you throw kiddos in the mix). God could have made our desires the same, why didn't He?
I truly believe that marriage is the ultimate character building design (with having raising children in a close second). We grow in godliness if we allow marriage to do its job, so to speak. We can either just be married and live with one another, settling for mediocrity, or we can get out of our comfort zones, let down walls, be stretched until it hurts, and serve...even if we are not served in return. The reward might (and probably will) be a stronger and more intimate marriage, but it will definitely have a reward of godliness.
Perseverance, humility, selflessness, and a pure conscience before God are some of those rewards. We should never settle for the status quo in marriage. God didn't settle when it came to His bride, those He dearly loved but who had turned away from Him. He pursued us, He gave His life for us, and He purifies us. This is how we should view marriage - something to pursue, give our lives up for, and purify...till death do us part.
"Love endures long and is patient and kind;
love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy,
is not boastful or vainglorious,
does not display itself haughtily.
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride);
it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly.
Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way,
for it is not self-seeking;
it is not touchy or fretful or resentful;
it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness,
but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes,
is ever ready to believe the best of every person,
its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances,
and it endures everything [without weakening].
Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]."
Marriage Is Hard, Part 2 - Advice From Wise Women
Marriage Is Hard, Part 3 - A Challenge
Marriage Is Hard, Part 4 - A Refuge