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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Marriage Is Hard, Part 2 (Wisdom From Titus 2 Women)

"...a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh."

I am encouraged when older, wiser women of God are willing to "teach what is good" to the younger generations. We need these Titus 2 women, who are sadly coming up in short supply it seems. Thankfully, I have been blessed to interview some of these ladies of wisdom, and I want to pass on some of their advice on how to love your husband well.

"They [older women]are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:3-5

Here are the "marriage" excerpts from my Lady of Wisdom interviews:

Sarah: Our "ministry" of being homemakers can get pretty exhausting, especially with little ones! How did you make time and have energy for your husband?

Robin: Coming home out of the work place made such a difference in this area. While I was working I felt torn in too many different directions and I don't think I handled this area very well. I always knew that after the girls were in bed that we could have some quiet time for the two of us. That didn't work out every night, but that was the goal. There will be days when you will be exhausted from caring for your little ones, but it won't always be like that. If it seems like you aren't getting any relief than perhaps some changes need to take place in what is going on through the day.When the girls were younger, I always made the girls have a rest after lunch. Whether it was a nap or looking at books, they had to stay on their bed and be quiet for an hour. We gradually worked up to that starting at 10-15 minutes. It gave me a chance to rest, read or just be still for awhile through the day.

Sarah: What is the greatest thing you've learned in how to be a good wife?

Robin: I think reading The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace was very helpful for me in becoming a good wife. She explains how our thought life really effects our actions and words. We can change our ungodly thoughts to biblical thoughts and become a blessing to our husband instead of a curse. Reading this book and trying to apply these principles made a huge impact on our marriage.

Sarah: What is the greatest thing youʼ've learned in how to be a good wife?

June: Just try to be his best helpmeet---find out what he would like from you instead of what the world wants you to be. Find out what he likes to eat, how he likes the house, what he likes you to wear. Some husbands don't care if the house is immaculate but they do care if there is not a hot meal waiting for them when they get home. Also ask him in the morning- "Is there anything you need me to do today?" and then put that first on your list--after your Bible devotionals, of course. Even if that means pushing aside your ever- urgent 'to do' list. And lastly, I should have probably put this first---RESPECT. Be sure to love him by respecting him. I also highly recommend the book "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace.

Sarah: How did you make time for your husband when you were exhausted with little ones?

Cathy: By keeping priorities. God first, Dave next, then the kids. The best thing I can do for the kids is to love their dad and let them feel the security of our bond. We did lunch dates if the schedule allowed. I am still too tired most of the time to enjoy night dates as much as lunch ones. Have a regular date time.... a time when you know you have the full attention of each other and can really talk.

Sarah: What is the greatest thing you've learned in how to be a good wife?

Cathy: To choose to let him be and to let Dave know that "he is enough for me". Men struggle with feeling that they are not enough. I want to be a refuge and place where he can experience freedom and grace. I am to be his biggest fan.

These women have been a blessing to me and I pray their wisdom would bless you and your marriage as well.

(Wisdom from Titus 2 Women works for me!)


Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

Great advice! Thanks for sharing all of that with us.

Friend Chick said...

Thanks! Much to ponder this morning. I'm not sure I consistently put my husband's needs above my own, or my daughter's. Perhaps I should dust off my copy of The Excellent Wife and read it...

Anonymous said...

Good stuff, so helpful. More, more! :)
I must pick up this book!

Katy Lin :) said...

thanks for these posts! these are very timely for me! :) hope you're having a good wednesday!

Anonymous said...

I agree with all of this! I also own Created to Be His Helpmeet and The Excellent Wife. Both excellent books.
I left you something on my blog. :)

Pam said...

Thank you for the great advice! This is a area I struggle with daily and I think I have this book at home now I just need to read it!
Thanks Again

Pam said...

Thank you for the great advice! This is a area I struggle with daily and I think I have this book at home now I just need to read it!
Thanks Again

Holly said...

I appreciate this post very much--we have so much to learn from women who have walked before us. Thank you for this series of posts from Titus 2.

I have been reading your blog recently and find it so honest and refreshing. Thank you!

Katie @ makingthishome.com said...

I opened this article and read it this morning... I've been thinking about it ever since because I really enjoyed the thoughts being presented. Sometimes we don't always remember to make time for each other at our house, so thank you so much. I just read again!

Anonymous said...


You are being mightily used by the Lord whom you so obviously love!

I have been married 14 years and recently have experienced a great 'staleness' in our marriage. My in-laws are here visiting and, recently as well, I have struggled with their visits. Your timing (God's timing!) is excellent.

I've read Martha Pierce's book, but have struggled in applying her wise words to my life. Your articles about it are refreshing both my memory and my desire (motivation) to live out what I have read.

Thank you, thank you thank you (to Robin as well!!!!!).

HveHope (Jackie)