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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Powerful Guest Post - What Loss Taught Me


Today's guest post is from Traci. Traci lives in sunny So. Cal with her youth pastor husband and 2 boys; a teenage step-son and a toddler foster son. She’s experienced pregnancy loss, including the death of her identical twin daughters at birth. She enjoys reading, jazz, the beach, and corny romantic movies that have very predictable endings. You can discover more about her journey at Milk & Honey {www.thegarbers.blogspot.com}.


What Loss Taught Me



  1. He weeps with us. With Lazarus He wept not at the death of His friend {He was very aware that Lazarus was going to be popping back to life rather quickly}, but He showed tender love and mercy to those around him that were grieving. He felt their pain, and He wept. He wants us to intimately approach His throne with our pain. He felt mine, and He feels yours.

  2. He never abandons a project. What God has started in us he will never abandon. Though there are times that we feel stuck in a heap of garbage; as though we were beaten down pieces of junk mixed into the abyss of trash. We must remind ourselves that we are never alone. Even in the moments that look like the ugliest of uglies. We are not alone. He began an amazing work in us, and He will finish it.

  3. Reliance. I used to live in this world where things were safe and God fit in when I had time. I call those days my days of innocence. I didn't realize what a disservice that thinking was at the time. Then in one moment everything I thought I was made for was pulled out from under me and suddenly there was no security. My eyes were opened to realities I didn't want to see. In order to survive, literally – in order to get through each day and hour, I HAD to rely on my Father. I found myself with this desire, this need, this craving. An utter reliance to submit and give my life to the One greater than I. In an instant everything I had found comfort in prior had failed me and I found a strength I didn't realize was there. I am beyond thankful for this.

  4. To fight for the plunder {Exodus 12:35-36}. When the Israelites left Egypt they didn't leave empty handed. They left with the plunder from the enemy. They walked out of the valley richer then they had entered. Allow the circumstance you are in to change you and mold you and renew you. The enemy will feed you lies; choose to believe God's truth about your situation and then steal the plunder. He wants you to walk out stronger. He is the only thing that can fully heal, but you must ask Him and know it will take work on your part. He not only wants you healed, He wants you to know the Healer.

  5. Every ounce of suffering is a stepping stone for further kingdom building. You, fellow sufferer are being used to build God's kingdom. It sure doesn't feel like it in the midst of the suffering, does it? The plunder that you will steal when you walk out of your valley a conqueror … give that back to God. The Israelites used it to build God's temple {they took gold and silver, stripping the Egyptians of their wealth}. You will be able to use the experiences you are enduring to touch others, reach others, bond with others, and minister to others in ways you can not even imagine. God refined me greatly during my time of grief and my struggles to find my way. Or rather His way. And I believe that what He has taught and what I have been through were tiny lessons that are preparing me for moments I have yet to encounter. My loss will be used for His glory.

  6. The scars will remain. What I was will never be again. I have accepted the marvelous miracle of this. When Jesus was raised from the grave He came with His scars. He could have been completely physically healed, but instead God chose to allow the scars remain and now we can see much beauty and testimony in them. There’s beauty in our scars too. There was a time I thought my heart would never be whole again, but in time He has shown me that He can fill those places; He can fill them to overflowing. He opened my eyes to the fact that my heart was never full to begin with, I just never realized it.

  7. I am different. Grab a pen and a piece of paper. Write down a bunch of zeros. What do you have? A bunch of nothings. Carefully add a 1 in front of the zeros and you'll be looking at a number signifying wealth. If I take all of the details of my loss and look at them alone they equal a big heap of awful nothingness. But if I add the One who holds my heart in front of them I can see a picture of much worth. The world will never understand, but we were made for more. The follower of Christ is different. Every trial we encounter will hold more potential then we will ever be able to fathom. He wants to you to see the worth in your circumstances, in your zero's. Put Him in the front because only then is it worth anything. Only then is it beautiful.

These are just a fragment of the things my daughters gave me when I handed them back to Jesus shortly after birth. Though my mind occasionally wonders off to what my life would be like had the last 5 years not happened, I can honestly say that I think I am right where God wants me to be. I look at my heart now and the glimpses God has given me and I will tell you that while I’d never choose to endure the grief again, I also wouldn’t change a thing. There is such a hope in loss, and such a joy in being granted a share of Christ’s suffering. These are things I would have never known. This is what my daughters have given me.

Sarah Mae is over At The Well today.

42 comments:

Kat said...

Six years ago, I lost my daughter at 6 months of pregnancy...on Mother's Day. While a bit different than your situation, I still can identify with every word you've written. Your words are rich, beautiful, and so very, very true. It's so easy to praise the Lord when things are great, but after such a loss, you find that strength(that comes from Him) to praise Him when filled with pain. There is no greater praise....

Lacy said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. I write this with tears in my eyes. A month ago I had an ectopic pregnancy and an emergency surgery, in which we lost the baby and one of my tubes. I need these truths so much! I am clinging to the Lord through this time, trusting Him that, truly, this loss has eternal value and somehow He WILL use this for His glory!

Kristy K said...

Thanks for this beautiful post. Nine years ago, we lost a baby girl at 5 months. It was terrible and at the time, I thought I could never come out of the shadow of grief that had overcome me. But God brought me through it and I got comfortable again. Then last summer, my 28-year-old brother died tragically and my world was turned upside down. But as the months pass, I can see God's beautiful plan unfolding and He's teaching me everyday what it means to rely fully on him.

Thank you!

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

Beautiful post! I love the part with the zeros.....wonderful, just wonderful.

Debbie said...

A beautiful post that I plan on sharing with some friends. Thank you so much for sharing your heart.

Jenni Saake (a.k.a. InfertilityMom) said...

Traci, it has been a great honor to watch your joureny through this process and see God move so powerfully in your heart. You continually teach me new things about living in Him and though I've said it before it bears repeating - you really should write a book (and I'll proudly endorse it and help you promote it)!
I especially love your points about Jesus' scars and the example simply adding a one to a line of zeroes. :)

Jenjen Stepmom said...

Traci

Beautifully written my HP sister!

Jenny M

Jenjen Stepmom said...

Traci

Beautifully written my HP sister!

Jenny M

Jenjen Stepmom said...

Traci

Beautifully written my HP sister!

Jenny M

Dyan said...

Thank you!

Jenjen Stepmom said...

Ugh...so sorry I overposted. I'm a big doofus. Please delete all the extras.

Jenny

andrea said...

traci
that was just beautiful!
i love the thought about the 0's we are nothing without Christ!!

HeathahLee said...

This was a beautiful post. I'm so glad Sarah Mae shared her space with you today!

Sarah said...

Thank you for sharing--my story is similar. We lost twin girls too at 21 weeks.

Thank you Sarah Mae for having her guest post today! It was beautiful!

Conny said...

What a poignant post!
And then I read thru the comments -and saw my old friend Jenni Saake! and the old abbreviation I'm very familiar with: HP (Hannah's Prayer). I was a member of Ladies In Waiting/Hannah's Prayer from about 1997 - 2002ish! Funny how the internet is a "small world"!
Anyway, thank you for sharing your story & GOD's story!

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

What a beautiful post! It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing those important lessons with us. Blessings to you!

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