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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Excuse Me, Where Is Your Mother?

Today's guest post comes from Christa Taylor. Christa Taylor is the daughter of Chris and Donna Taylor, and co-founded Christa-Taylor.com in 2006. A home-school graduate Christa and her sister Lindsay are passionate about raising up the next generation of women to live and proclaim the glories of Christ through lives committed to His Word. You can read more about them at their blogs: Christa, empoweredtraditionalist, Lindsay, passionatehomemaking.com

Recently, I saw some pictures of a dear family friend on Facebook that deeply disturbed me. The pictures in question revealed a young woman, scantily dressed, partying with her girlfriends. Who replaced the sweet, modest friend of my youth with this trashy streetwalker? Did I miss something? Excuse me, but where is your mother?

In a Feministic, Sex-saturated culture, discerning mothers are vital in raising up the next generation of biblical women.

But who can boast of a perfect mother/daughter relationship? Some us wince every time we here it mentioned.

I have never admitted to a perfect relationship with my mom. In fact, I don’t think two people could be more opposite! While she is methodical, I’m impulsive. She is traditional, I’m experimental, she dislikes attention, and I love it. While she loves early mornings, getting me up is like pulling teeth. We have disagreed on everything from fashion to finances. My relationship with my mother is two sinners in desperate need of God’s grace. He continues to use this key relationship to refine and sanctify us both.

What does scripture say about this relationship? Does the Word of God provide some model or example for us to follow? Titus 2 instructs us, the "older women are to train the younger women". The picture presented is that of a general instructing his "reinforcements". You are priming the next generation of women to carry the banner of biblical womanhood, to honor their husbands (even while unmarried), love their families and serve sacrificially. But no one said it was going to be easy.

As you nurture your daughter into this role- consider these three areas:

  1. Nurture Patience for the journey

  2. Nurture Your Friendship

  3. Nurture Her Character

1) When you first got married, you probably weren’t fully aware of the vast patience that would be required for your spouse (and vice versa). The same is true for your daughter. Frankly, we can be stubborn, headstrong, foolish girls and we need your patience and understanding. When you feel like you’re not getting through and your debating with a brick wall- have patience. Speak the Word, and let the Holy Spirit do His work.

2.) I love doing things with my mom- find those activities that you can enjoy together; particularly, those activities that your daughter loves. You don’t like going shopping or getting a manicure? Just try it once-maybe she’s the athletic type or brainy chic, be interested in what she’s interested in. As your daughter gets older and starts making her own decisions, those "heart strings" connecting you both will be stronger than lectures.

3.) Spend time just chatting about Biblical womanhood, taking the little opportunities to teach and invest in her character. My mom is constantly teaching my sisters and I in little ways- Why this behavior was inappropriate, sharing a story from her former years, sharing what’s she’s read. Doesn’t have to be long, its "bite sized bits of wisdom". Ensure she is reading good books, take her to women’s meetings where she can glean from other women; make sure she has godly like-minded friends. Her character is what keeps her pure and modest when you’re busy and she’s off at college.

Every relationship is a work in progress; thankfully we are not relying on our own strength and insight, but His. God has sovereignty placed your daughter in your family and has sovereignty given you the exact gifting and wisdom for her.

Grace and Peace as you train up your biblical women!

Preaching to the choir,
Christa Taylor

Recommended Resources:
Girl Talk, Carolyn Mahaney

Sarah Mae is asking, "What is the greater purpose for modesty?" over at Is This Modest today.

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Sarah said...


Kasey Hunt said...

Good tips. Thanks for sharing.

Melissa said...

You've got a lovely blog here! I'm glad to "meet" you!

ServinGsus said...

Thanks for the reminder; it is so important to focus on the things we can't see like time, character, integrity, and relationship ... but sometimes the day-to-day gets in the way and we miss it. I enjoy reading your thoughts =)

Kellye said...

How wonderfully said!! Being a mom of 2 girls who are growing up way faster than I ever expected them to, this really hits home. I always ask, "Weird or Wordly" because there really isnt any other way. I will take weird any day of the week!!

Thanks Sarah Mae for all that you do!!

MamaHen Em said...

This is so much what I strive for in raising my little girl. Thanks for sharing!

Heather said...

Thought-provoking post. I don't have a daughter, but I am one. I never thought of my relationship with my mom as another way of God to develop me.

Isabel said...

What a beautiful post! Glad my girls are still young so I can apply this early on!

Michelle said...

What a wonderful post. My daughter is only 3, and I know that we are going to have our moments. These are some great tips that I'll be able to start applying in our everyday lives together! Thanks!!

christinnjon said...

Excellent tips. I can definately attest to the patience thing!

Developing a friendship is something I need to work on. Too often I get in "mom mode" and fail to develop more relationship. THank you for the reminder. :)

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

I don't have a daughter, but I am one! This is wonderful advice!!