I can't answer all the questions that come along with our spouses being the "right" spouse.
I can say that once we are married (and I'm even more confident if you are a child of God) that your spouse is the "right" one - it is not a mistake.
Do you know what happens when we start thinking in terms of "what if...?" If we start thinking that perhaps the one we are with is a mistake? Do you know what happens to our hearts? They become hard toward our spouse, sometimes slowly, eroding over time so that we don't even notice until our marriage becomes all but dead. We stop trying. We cling to our independence. We give up...even if know one else knows it.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,' and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
Some of you think you will never divorce your husband, so you're in the clear. I ask you, what about a divorce of the heart? None of us are immune to it because we are all in a spiritual battle with not only the enemy, but also with our sinful nature.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do I roll my eyes at my husband when we disagree?
- Do I allow myself to have lingering thoughts about a past love?
- Do I find myself gravitating toward the attention of other men?
- Do I think negative thoughts about my husband and/or our marriage?
- Do I respect my husband?
- Do I trust that God knows what He's doing with my marriage, no matter how difficult it is?
- Is divorce an option?
A hard heart will destroy a marriage from the inside out - whether you physically divorce or not. God wants us to have soft, hearts ready for molding. You and your spouse are one - God declared it so, and "what God has joined together, let no man separate."
My friends, it is not a mistake who your spouse is. God will use your marriage to refine both of you, and even more so He will use your marriage to do a good work...His purpose and plans cannot be thwarted. You know what else? He loves you with an everlasting love! He cares for you, and your marriage. He wants you to have a successful marriage!
A Challenge For You!
Go to your husband this very day and ask him if there are any areas in which he feels disrespected or unloved by you. Listen to him. Listen. Then say, "okay, I hear you." Drop your defenses...be soft. Pray. Do (or stop doing).
Today I am praying throughout the day for all of us to have softer hearts and more tender thoughts towards our husbands. Will you join me in this prayer today?