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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Ex Prep, Part 5 - How Do I Know If I'm Married To The Right Man?

This topic is going to be a very interesting discussion. I will be the first to say that I by no means have cornered the market on truth - only God has. Everything I present is what I believe, by scripture and faith, to be true.

With that said, my first question to you is this:

Do you believe God has a purpose and plan for His creation?

I do.

"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." Psalm 33:11

I also believe He directs His people to accomplish His plan and purposes, including marriages (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and the children you will or will not have therein.

"Man's steps are ordered by the Lord. How then can a man understand his way?" Proverbs 20:24

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

The immediate questions that probably pop into your mind are, "what about those who were in marriages and their spouse left them? What about those who were married to someone before they were saved and are now with someone else?" Where does sin fit in - can't we deviate from God's plan?"

I think the above questions, and the whole premise in general that our spouses are part of God's plan for us, deserves some in-depth discussion and study.

Before I continue with this topic, I want to hear from you - what is your perspective?

If you have time, come visit me today over at Empowered Traditionalist!


Kasey Hunt said...

Interesting stuff. I agree with you. Although I'm not good at scripture references. I don't know a lot by heart. I like to follow my heart on this. I do think Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. I knew I was supposed to marry my hubby because of the peace I felt inside. I believe that was the holy spirit in me.

Kristy K said...

Really interesting!

My husband and I were talking with an amazing couple at our church a few weeks ago. They are in their 50s and have been married to each other for 6 years. Both were divorced before after 20+ years of marriage. They have an awesome marriage and as a couple, they are a spiritual force to be reckoned with.

But they both said that if they had it to do over again, they believe their first spouses were the right ones. Due to infidelity, trust issues, abuse and other reasons, they divorced, but if they had it to do over, they would want their first marriage to work out.

I thought it was interesting that they were so honest that their second spouses were not "the right ones," but they are doing whatever they can to bring glory to God with this marriage. They realize that it was human error, not God's error, that caused them to get divorced in the first place.

Ginger said...

I also agree. These are questions I asked myself long ago. God has shown me that what ever decision I make, He will use it for his purpose and Glory! Now I am not saying my decisions were smart and well thought out, but if you believe in Christ, He will direct our wrong paths to fork back into the right one. God knew every detail of our lives and even who we would marry. I do believe that we can marry the wrong person at the time, but I also believe that God can use that wrong person to make a beautiful marriage with a beautiful family. I don't mean to confuse anyone. I just want you to know that we do make mistakes, we are only human. And those mistakes might not be the plan the God had for you...but, God can turn our mistakes into miracles!

Sarah said...

God knows who we are intended to marry. We may not think it is the right person but I also know that God hates divorce. So therefore I think that we are to rely on God and trust in him for our marriage and He will make all things beautiful. There have been times I thought I married the wrong person but I don't believe God makes mistakes and He knew who was meant for me. After 9 years I can honestly say God knew what He was doing and I am thankful that I married such an amazing man!

Jen said...

The question of whether or not we can deviate from God's plan is one that I have dealt with as well as some of my recently married friends. I believe that God will use us and will use whatever situation we are in to get us to where He wants us. He will meet us where we are and whether He's allowed the situation or we just put ourselves there, He will use us.

Dusty said...

I am intrigued! My husband has been married once before, so we have discussed this at times. I believe that God has our "right" spouse picked out, but sometimes due to our free will and rebellion we don't necessarily get that person the first time around. That being said, I don't agree with divorce except for biblical reasons, because God hates it, and I think that once we are married, we should work as hard as we possibly can to make our marriages work. I'm looking forward to hearing what else you have to write about this!

LORI said...


Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

I do agree with you - God puts us with the right spouse, "right" meaning that this is the person he will use to bring the joys and trials that bring about growth. Doesn't necessarily mean that it is the love of your life from the start and forever - that true love comes from the Lord and sometimes only after years of hard work.

If our spouse is "right", does it mean that everything will be great and easy? Nope. If we honor the Lord by staying true to our marriage, I believe He will honor the marriage (maybe not as fast as you hope for!).

I'm not good with words like you, Sarah Mae, so I don't know if any of that made any sense at all!! But just know that I completely get what you're saying and agree with you. :)

Sarah said...

Sarah Mae,
I just found your blog and I'm in love! I'll be back!

-Sarah from Create Studio

Reborn said...

This is a difficult question! I think that God knows what attributes we need in a spouse, but I'm not convinced that he creates soulmates ("one and only").

I also think that maybe God's ultimate purpose remains the same, but the intricacies of his "will" are ever-changing as humans fail and exercise free will. We might deviate from the original plan, but in his all-knowing wisdom, he works all things for good (to those who love God and are called according to his PURPOSE). In the end, his purpose is accomplished, and that's what matters.

Obviously, life will be the smoothest and most fulfilling the closer we align ourselves to his will by seeking his face and striving to hear his voice (through his word and in our hearts). Like Kasey said, I think inner peace is a good indicator whether you're following God's direction for your life.

BUT, once you've exercised your free will, made a vow, and entered into a covenant, I believe that your choice then becomes the "right person", because it is now God's will for you to remain married to him/her.