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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex, Part 4 - Stepping Out In Faith (In This Day and Age, Eight May Not Be Too Young)

When we talk to our kids about sex, we are really stepping out in faith.

We don't always know what to say or the best way of saying it, but we do it anyway. We put our own fears and failures aside because we know that there is something valuable and eternal to be gained. We do it because we love our children.

Many of you out there may think that eight or nine years old is too young you to be talking to about sex, but sadly, in this day and age, younger and younger children are throwing themselves into a dark world of seduction and sexual behaviors...and they don't even realize what they are doing. We (our culture) didn't protect them, love them, nurture them, teach them, role-model for them. Our culture has thrown them to the wolves. Don't believe me?

Fifth Graders Charged With Having Sex In Classroom

Middle School Children As Young As 12 Engaging In Risky Sexual Behaviors

Mommy, What's A Rainbow Party?

Teen Wire (Planned Parenthood's Website For Teens) (Prepare to be appalled)

Just Google "Teacher's Having Sex With Their Students" and you will have an endless supply of articles.

Whether you homeschool or send your children to a public or private school, they are or will be hearing about sex, even at sweet innocent ages. Now you have to decide whether or not you will step out of your comfort zone for the sake of your children. What will you do?

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex, Part 1 - Fear

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex, Part 2 (Why and When)

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex, Part 2 Continued (How)

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex, Part 3 - Firm Foundation (Plus Questions & Comments)

Tomorrow I want to share with you my story.

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Debbie said...

I had not read all of the articles until last night and this is a wonderful tool for parents to use with their kids. It was also very eye opening to me and I am sure to others. It breaks my heart that we have to explain sex to our kids at such an early age. I don't think that my mom told me anything until I was an older teenager. Oh, how times have changed. Thank you so much!

Anna Sophia said...

Those articles should be a real eye-opener for most parents. Some was for me even. These articles are just disgusting (I think I threw up in mouth a little!) I hope everyone is benefiting from your series and will be talking with their children, and willing to listen to them and answer their questions honestly.
I am so blessed to have children who are open, honest, and not afraid to tell me things or ask questions. I thank God for that everyday!! Thank you for this series. It's wonderful. Have a blessed day!! :-)

Anonymous said...

Very good reminders and of course eye openers for some, I'm sure. The whole thing sickens me and it makes me just want to keep my kids close and safe from it all!

Laurie said...

This has truly been something on my mind a lot lately. I have four kids, 9 (almost 10), 7, 5, and 2 yr olds. I like the idea of taking this from a Godly perspective. I want to be the one that teaches my child about sex and in a positive way. Thank you for sharing these posts and articles, I do appreciate it!

I think there are obviously kids at different ages that are "ready" to talk about certain things, but I also think we as parents can't be naive, either.

Still working on talking more with my oldest daughter. She has read a couple of great books put out by Young Women of Faith. Written by Nancy Rue. One of the books is called "The Boday Book, it's a God Thing".

Sheryl said...

I am thankful that you are willing to tackle hard subjects! After "Core Lies" I am dealing with issues I have regarding sex -- I lost my virginity at 15. While that may seem old considering some of the current articles listed, it really affected my life, relationships and now my marraige. I am scared to talk to my daughter about sex, but I am more scared to avoid it. SHE is worth me overcoming my fears!

MamaHen Em said...

I know I keep saying this, but literally three weeks ago a little boy who is 8 told my 7 year old completely wrong info about sex. This is a kid we go to church with. It's there, everywhere. I am so super cautious about what we watch, listen to, etc and still we had "the talk"

I love the idea of talking about it age appropriately from the beginning. It leads itself to just being another "normal" conversation in our house, because we've been talking about it since before either child can remember (age appropriately, of course!)

Was I wanting to talk about it at age 7? No. In my head I was thinking fourth grade -ish. Was I prepared to talk about at age 7? Yes. Because we will talk about whatever they bring up, so we have to be prepared.

I am loving this series and am glad you are laying it out there for us. It certaintly is eye opening, but we cannot escape it, no matter how much we might want to.

Friend Chick said...

As a former 5th grade public school teacher I, unfortunately, am not shocked or surprised by these articles. Appalled, yes. Discouraged with society, absolutely!

I agree that we as parents need to know our children, but after 6 years of teaching, and literally hundreds of students coming in and out of my doors, I never met a 5th grader who wasn't ready to hear about sex - from their parent.

Unfortunately, most of these kids already knew way too much, and not from a godly perspective.

We taught our students about human reproduction and puberty - not sex - but I always kept an anonymous question box. I explicitly told the girls that I couldn't answer questions about sex. and yet, most of the questions I received were sex questions.

So, I turned the girls to their moms. But, unfortunately, the girls turned to others.

All this to say, talk to your kids and don't underestimate them. You can still have an age appropriate conversation with an 8 or 9 year old.

Emily B said...

Have you heard of "Passport 2 Purity"? It is a resource published by FamilyLife Ministries, and can be purchased at www.familylife.com.
It is the curriculum for a weekend getaway for a parent to take with their pre-teen to talk about sex, relationships, purity, and peer pressure. It is a fantastic tool for opening the door to clear, comfortable parent-child communication about sex. If you would like a copy, I'll send you one free of cost.

Emily B said...

Just read further on down your posts and saw that yes, you do know about Passport 2 Purity. If you want to do a giveaway, I'll still provide a copy.

kim said...

As a mother of a 9 yo boy and 7 yo girl... i'd like to encourage you all to start talking early! Be proactive, open the dialogue and make you all comfortable talking about it... simple ongoing conversations. I want my children to come to me with ?s, that is my hope. There's talk and 'jokes' on the playgrounds. Let's arm them with the truth. Some great beginning books we used to start the dialogue can be found from Focus on the Family "God's Design for Sex Series" books 1&2.

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

I am sure there are a lot of parents who don't fully realize just how scary it is out there!

Our children will be exposed to info we don't want somewhere, so best for us to give them the right info now.

This has been so encouraging to me, especially with so many resources that my husband and I can use to help.

Thank you!!

Anne Basso said...

Honestly, I think talking about kids is a natural extension of talking about bodies and the way God made us. I start that when they're very young, and just extend the conversation tiny bit by tiny bit as they get older.

I also find that if I answer their questions, I have a better understanding of what to say.

My oldest is 11 and he's asking very different questions than he did when he was six. I've begun to include new vocabulary when the subject comes up. Words like "abstinence" and language about God's plan for our lives.

I don't think this is something parents need to fear. Sex is a beautiful gift, given to us. But like the most beautiful gifts, it comes with responsibility. I hope to teach my children all of that.

JMK said...

I do think that keeping an open relationship is the best approach. I am a young woman but 8 would have been way too young for me. At 10 my mom and I had our fist discussion etc. Yes, I think that talking to your little ones about their bodies etc is a very normal and good way to keep the doors open to communication. It all depends on who your children are exposed to and who your friends are etc. You just need to keep your eyes and ears open and keep in touch with the Lord. Every child is different. I know some of my siblings needed it earlier than me so it depends on the child.