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Thursday, April 9, 2009

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex

Well, it seems it is that time again, time for a new series.

On sex.

That's right. Actually, on talking to your kids about it. It will go something like this:

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex:

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex, Part 1 - Fear
How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex, Part 2 (Why and When)

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex, Part 2 Continued (How)

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex, Part 3 - Firm Foundation (Questions & Comments From You)

Part 4 - Faith

You are probably wondering how on earth I qualify to talk about such things as my oldest is only three years old. I can understand, but I just happen to be a bit passionate about the subject. I worked in a crisis pregnancy clinic counseling many young women who ended up pregnant, in part due to a lack of "sex education" at home. I also have a little personal experience with the topic.

I hope you join me...you know I'm gonna wanna hear all your insights!

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Maria said...

While I'm only 17 myself and haven't started a family of my own, my parents never gave me "the talk". I learned everything from my friends at school. When my parents finally kind of 'poked' at the subject, I said "I already know how it works! My friends told me!", my parents sighed in relief and said "Thank God we don't have to do this!".

So, I'm interested in how this 'process' is suppose to work and how to handle this with any children I may have in the future.

Sarah said...

Well my oldest is only 3 as well but I do have a younger sister who could use a talking to! I'll be here with open eyes!

Gabriela Fitz said...

Thanks so much for writing about this Sarah!

We actually just posted a special collection of research from nonprofits about just this topic. It answers some interesting questions about what works and what doesn't in sex education.

Specifically you might be interested in some of the research about how important parental engagement is - such as the report on "Parental Engagement" from the Healthy Teen Network. http://birdsandbees.issuelab.org/sd_clicks/listing/parental_engagement

If you or any of your readers are interested in digging deeper you see the whole collection at http://birdsandbees.issuelab.org

I am eager to read more in your series!


Co-Director, IssueLab

Reborn said...

As usual, I'm excited to read your newest series! My parents had the usual hang-ups that conservative christian parents tend to have, and although sex was discussed from an antatomical perspective when I was a kid, there was never a comfortable, open line of communication on the topic in my teen years (when it's really needed!).

I always felt (because it really was true!) that my mom would be shocked and appalled by any questions I had, so I just asked my friends and/or did my own research instead.

I don't think that's healhty and I'd like to change the pattern with my future kids.

Composing Hallelujahs said...

ooh, sounds good. my mom waited until the night before my wedding to talk about anything, can you believe that!

jen said...

I am also involved with our local Crisis Pregnancy Center. It is such a rewarding ministry and yet so heart-breaking to meet with these girls/women who really were never shown how valuable they are.

Looking forward to your new series.

Jennifer N.

Anonymous said...

I'm looking forward to this...I don't have kids yet, but I'll keep the knowledge in my back pocket!

My parents never had these talks with me...I found out many things through friends. My sister found out through "Sex Ed" in her classroom when she was in 3RD GRADE. That's appalling to me.

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

Great Sarah Mae! It is so important to talk to our children about this - we want our children to hear about it from us and from a godly perspective before getting any confusing info from the world. Can't wait to hear what you have to say!

Pajama Mama said...

oh, this series makes me want to hide from my kiddos...i seriously am not ready for that! but i'll be reading!


Rafter's-n-Henderson said...

I have been preparing my daughter for conversations that would be coming up for years now. She often comes home from public school throwing new terms around. I want her to know exactly what everything means and I want to hear her stance on what she thinks. Thanks for sharing and no one should wait to have this talk. I wish my mom opened up with me when I was 8 - 10... They know more than you imagine. Jaime

Miche said...

Im looking forward to your thoughts on this and how to do it. I was one of those that never got a "talk" and actually was never allowed to go to the sex ed classes in school (my parents refused to sign the permission forms) yet, we also didn't have a moral background (I became Christian when my husband and I got married) so I also had no reasons in my head NOT to go ahead with it. SO I did end up having sex waaaaay to early, but luckily with a boy that knew what to do to NOT get pregnant, since I had no idea. ANYWAYS-I am excited to see what you have to say, since this is a talk I will be having with all my children, in a logical prevent babies way, and in a moral, wait for marriage way so they can make the best choice for them, and hopefully not repeat my mistakes.

HeathahLee said...

On one hand, I'm glad Sound Man has taken that responsibility over and has already had the talk with Kiddo. On the other hand, I wish parents of daughters would realize that in order to keep them from "experimenting" is to tell them straight up about it. And Daddys need to date their daughters and STAY in their lives or they will go looking for someone who will! I have some friends who do this with their daughters and they are the sweetest girls who have their heads and hearts centered on God, not boys!

Oh, sorry, didn't mean to get on my soapbox!

Amanda Flynn said...

I gave you an award at my blog! http://amandabethonline.blogspot.com/

Sandee said...

I did a study, Christian, on this I think it was title Reflections on Moral Innocence.... http://www.ezzo.info/Articles/coates_romi.htm

I cannot say I followed it to a T, but there is a lot in there I agreed with. (Take the meat, leave the bones).

MamaHen Em said...

Well I can't wait. A friend of chickie boy's heard about sex from a friend at school, his parents freaked out, told him he was too young to talk about it, he got VERY curious, told my SEVEN year old wrong info and thankfully O. asked me about sex. We got to have the talk much earlier than I thought, but I'm thinking we didn't scar him for life and did an okay job. Age appropriately, of course, but now we have a foundation to build on. I am so excited to see what you have to say!

Anna Sophia said...

I am so excited that you are doing this! I too am very passionate about this topic. My oldest just turned 7 in January so we are preparing to have the Full talk pretty soon. If questions come up we always answer them honestly. I want him to know what we believe and what God says about sex and relationships, not his friends (the worldly) view on this subject. I am waiting (impatiently) for the series to start! lol :-)

Carisa said...

I lead a program at our inner-city church called "God's Girls" I developed it along with a co-missionary of mine and we have taught it together for 4 years now. The program focuses on modesty, purity, and many other issues. We meet with a group of 12 girls (ages 10-12) over the course of a week for a total of around 12 hours.

I was amazed during our months upon months of research in prep for designing our program. It is SUCH a needed area of discussion form a Biblical view for our kiddos.

I think what you are doing is great and encourage all moms to follow along. We can't leave this issue in the dark, or for others to teach our kids-especially other kids!

:) Carisa

Sandy@ Jesus and Dark Chocolate said...

Great topic, and a great topic to prepare you kids for ahead of time.

Sandy@ Jesus and Dark Chocolate said...

Ooops I got sidetracked and hit publish comment too soon......... :)

Since my kids are almost 12 (daughter) and my son is 14, we have been discussing this topic and preparing our kids for the "battle" in this area and also for the understanding of how God intended things to be. I think the key is for your kids to feel comfortable talking about this issue with their parents. That opens lots of doors. :)
I will look forward to reading what you have to say. :)