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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Learning To Keep My Mouth Shut! Oh, And Then There Is The Whole Attitude Thing...

Do you ever feel like all of a sudden you can't control your lips and words fling out that you later regret and feel like a shrew for?

Um, that's me most mornings and evenings when I'm a total crank, and yes, those are the times my poor hubby is home.

What's a gal to do?

Yesterday morning (miraculously) I actually kept my mouth shut when I was feeling very "attitudy" towards my husband for something. On top of my non-morning-persona-but-still-getting-up-early-anyway thing, the kiddos woke up way early and I seriously CRIED! But, I hid my tears, prayed that God would help me be positive and "tame the tongue," I persevered and by the GRACE OF GOD managed to put a smile on my face and eventually one in my heart.

Did you catch that? A smile in my heart.

My attitude is the hardest thing for me to tame. If my attitude were better, my words would be much gentler and kinder.

"From the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Matthew 12:34

Oh how I wish my thoughts were always rosy and sweet, but alas, they are not. My mind often fills with judgement, negativity, and criticism - most of the time toward the man who I love so dearly. I am praying about this and I try to think often on what a good man my husband is, but he could be perfect and my crankiness just seems to win more battles then it loses.

Last week, I actually told my three year old that I was going to sit on the step until I could be positive (this is what I do with her when she is whiny). She thought that was a good idea. Can you say humbling?

What do you do to push out crankiness and a negative attitude?

Angry words,

O let them never

From the tongue, unbridled slip.

With the soul's best impulse

Ever check them,

Ere they soil the lips.

Angry words are quickly spoken,

Bitter thoughts are rashly stirred.

Fondest links of life are broken.

By a single angry word.

(Found here)


Laura said...

I admire your resolve, Sarah. Isn't it the craziest thing to be surrounded by little vulnerable mirrors all day long??

Like you and sitting on the bottom step, I've found that my breakthrough moments happen when I can just say to V, "Oh, wow. I am not treating you well. I am so sorry! Will you forgive me??" She always does (so easy!) and it's a chance for me to take another route.

Your post is well-timed because I've been noticing a connection between my short-fuse and my long-to-do list; but when my focus is simply to enjoy V & L, I don't get nearly as anxious or distracted. I'm working on a schedule to guard this more intentionally.

Besides that, though, I officially invite you and the other 5 a.m. girls to join me for a "Teachable Tuesdays" meme (inspired by your Motivate Me Mondays, actually)! See ya there!

Anonymous said...

Just wanted you 5 am gals to know I prayed for you today on my way to work (before 5am!) that you would wake up refreshed and have a wonderful quiet time to start your day!

Debra said...

That was good. I especially like the, as I call them, "Mommy Time Out" until you got a better attitude. I have learned, in the trial of our life, that when I quit looking for my hubby to be perfect and meet my needs, and started talking with the Heavenly Husband about my issues, He changes my heart or changes the earthly hubby. It's a win-win situation! :) Just a thought ...

Love the 5 a.m. club idea. What a great accountability.

janellybelly said...

This is sooo true! Sunday was a rough day...I was sooo irratable and I couldn't say anything right toward my hubby. So I ended up taking a very LONG bath in the candle light (my sorta time out) and prayed and relaxed...my attitude was much better after prayer and a long soak! =]

MamaHenClucks said...

This is a troublesome area for me. It's been such a process, but I have been praying and praying and being intentional about not letting myself be negative or rude, or sarcastic or any of the other unlovely attributes that want to spew from my mouth. I do the same thing. "Mama needs a minute to pull it together." The chickies have noticed my different attitude and they will call me on it when it isn't pleasant. Accountability is good, even when it comes from our children. I tell them all the time that I expect them to use the kindest words, the nicest behavior, to one another because we are family. Shouldn't I expect the same from myself? If we won't talk to friends like that, then I can't talk to them like that.

Gayle said...

You know, I could copy and paste your post to my page because I had the same thoughts and feelings this morning! (and many mornings, afternoons and evenings...) I prayed all the way to work today that God would change my attitude and make me sweet. I want people to see Jesus in me... especially my husband and kids. Thanks for sharing your heart. I'll be praying for you. =)

Anonymous said...

I have a hard time holding my tongue with my friend. She has decided to make some crazy decisions, so to keep myself silent I pray very hard and say very little.

Thank You for this great group of ladies!

Katy Lin :) said...

thank you so much for this post! i have a very hard time with my attitude, too, just last night i was feeling very crabby toward my hubby in fact - and i hate that! it's nice to know that i'm not the only one who struggles with this!

Katie @ 3 Blondes and a Redhead said...

A smile in your heart...I like that one! I've been a little too irritable this week, not sure why. I love the idea of giving yourself a "time out." I'll have to try that.

This morning I sent my daughter back to her room until she could emerge with a happy heart. (15 minutes later, I went in to find her sitting in her reading chair with her blanket, staring at the door...) Maybe Mommy needs to go back to HER room until SHE can have a happy heart?!?!?

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

I do struggle with attitude sometimes, too. I can whip out a guilt trip before you can blink! I feel bad that I do that to my hubby and pray that the Lord will help me with it.

Thanks for the post!