Go Ahead - Give Your Kids What They Want!

In the spirit of this article from At the well and this one from We are THAT family, I now give you the below article from the talented (love how she writes) Dana from Composing Hallelujahs! (the new host of Motivate Me Monday). Dana is a Texas wife and blog-at-home mom of four. When she's not blogging, you'll find her homeschooling her cowboy-to-be son and three dancing-princess daughters. She also enjoys decorating cakes, blasting the house with heart pounding worship music and learning to ballroom dance with her silly romantic husband.

Go Ahead. Give Your Kids What They Want!

so maybe you're thinking, "Oh great, she's one of those mothers!" You know, the kind that lets her kids run wild, eat sugary snacks all day long and let's them do, go, and have anything and everything and then claim they're just "expressing themselves".

but notice i didn't suggest you give your kids EVERYTHING they want. {mm-hmm. still wondering? read on}

i'm actually a rather strict mom, compared to the "average jo" kind of mom at least. We have rules {probably too many in some people's eyes} and we do our best to be consistent and require obedience and respect and all that good stuff. {but please don't think they are all perfect little angels. cute? definitely. funny? for sure. perfect? yeah right!} I'm no Capt. VonTrap with a whistle, but the shoes stay off the furniture, no jumping on the beds and so on and so forth...

I'm also a teeny tiny itty bitty bit of a control freak/perfectionist {insert embarrased chuckle here}. That does NOT mean my house is in perfect order, but it means that I like to do certain things a certain way! So, I end up saying no to the kids quite a bit when they want to do something... like {gasp} help me with something! {which is probably WHY my house isn't in perfect order cause i'm trying to do it all myself}

now, i'm not talking about giving them the toy they whined for in the store {goodness gracious, no, never do that!}, i'm talking about giving them the feeling of value and belonging they desire, but don't know to put into those words.

some statements i usually say "no" to {normally without thinking, the "no" just comes out automatically} are things like...

"Can I help?" "No" {because it will go faster if i just do it}

or "Can I do the dishes?" "No" {cause i don't want to clean up a watery mess}

or "Can I vacuum?" "No" {it's too heavy for you and i don't want you to break something or scratch the baseboards}

or "Can I go with you?" "No" {because mommy needs some quiet time even if it is at the super crowded and noisy grocery store}

isnt' that silly of me?!?! and then... and then we wonder why it's a struggle to get the kids to help with the chores when they are older. sooo, i'm working on throwing caution to the wind {uh, not really throwing, more like underhand tossing} when it comes to giving my kids what they want. {but really it's what they need}.

When it comes to contributing to the family unit, our children need to feel that they are important and valuable to the survival of the family {this is also why we have chosen NOT to give an money/allowance for everyday chores, but only for above and beyond things and projects, like preparing a garden bed, helping dad build something, etc...}. Being a part of something bigger than themselves gives them a reason to work hard and remain committed and "loyal" {that's one reason why gangs are so appealing to many youth}

so next time your little one is wanting to water and weed the garden {even though they might pull up an actual plant or drown another}, or get the clothes out of the dryer {even thought half of them get dropped on the dusty laundry room floor}, or tag along on a trip to lowes {even though you were hoping for a moment of quiet}... show them how much you love them and just give'em what they want! ;)